Dung

Several years ago, I ran into a problematic phenomenon I referred to as "fecal phantomism," whereby I would be dropping a deuce at work, someone would come into another stall, take a shit and wipe in under a minute and then leave, often without washing his hands.  It was a concern.  It's been years since I've had any work-related problems with feces, which has affected my life in a positive manner.  This morning, there were two incidents that I hope are not indicative of a new breed of fecal phantoms.  In our work bathroom, there are four stalls.  The first one is a handicapped stall, which I don't use because I don't want to be the able-bodied asshole who causes a guy in a wheelchair to shit himself.  The fourth stall was occupied, so I walked into the second stall, where I encountered shit streaks on the toilet seat.  First, I'm not sure how one gets poop on the top of the toilet seat, much less in streaks.  Second, I can't remember a time when I've ever just got up from the toilet without at least glancing at the toilet before leaving the stall.  The guy obviously flushed, so he must have seen it.  If I noticed that my effluence was smattered on a toilet seat, public or private, I would clean it up.  After saying "are you skullfucking me?" a little too audibly, I went to the third stall, even though it meant breaking the traditional "one stall in between" rule.  Shortly thereafter, the dude in the fourth stall flushes, gets up, and speed walks out of the bathroom without washing his hands.  This is a concern.