I'm going to be returning videotapes until Wednesday, so you'll need some things to keep you busy. I will provide you with those things.
First, some dickhole state representative in Texas made the bold -- and highly unsupported -- comment that ping pongs are deadlier than guns. Needless to say, I will now be carrying a ping pong paddle and a high-capacity ping pong ball bag wherever I go, to protect myself from the impending rash of mass ping ponging.
Second, check out this link with the 25 funniest autocorrects of the year (thanks to Gregerson for the link). I was laughing out loud at some of these. The beauty about autocorrect is that uncommon words that are autocorrected are usually words that the person has typed several times before. For instance, when I type "motorh," it autocorrects to "Motörhead," umlauts included, since I typed that a few times. Keep that in mind with some of the words that were autocorrected.
Third, click here to see a clip from A Very Special Christmas Party, a 1988 holiday special starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mike Tyson, Danny DeVito, some other celebs, an old lady who bowls, and a bunch of mentally disabled children. First, there's some awkward conversation where a man who was eventually elected Governor of California tells kids that, in Austria, the devil came on Christmas to scold you about getting bad grades. Then everyone breaks into song. It's a lot like most people's Christmases in the '80s. Thanks to Bonham for the link. If you don't want to bother clicking on the link for background on the Very Special Christmas Party.
Fourth, you may be aware that, at the 12/12/12 Sandy Relief concert, Paul McCartney fronted what's left of Nirvana on a new track called "Cut Me Some Slack" that will be on the soundtrack of Dave Grohl's as-yet-unreleased documentary on Sound City Studios. They also performed it on Saturday Night Live last week. Click here to check out the clip of the SNL performance. It's pretty badass. Sir Paul still has it. Krist Novoselic pulls off a renaissance hobo meets Garth Hudson look quite well. Thanks to Bonham for this link, too.
Fifth, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, and Happy Boxing Day. I hope the devil doesn't visit you and give you shit about anything.