Midwestern Eavesdropping - 12/28/06

Well everyone, here is this week's Midwestern Eavesdropping. Happy Holidays.

Twentysomething female approaches twentysomething male on L platform:
Female (excitedly): "Heeeeyyy!"
Male (in a voice that suggested he may have once hooked up with her): "Oh hey, how's it going?"
(Female leans in and awkwardly hugs Male)
Female: "How are you? Oh my God, your hair is so long."
Male: "Yeah, it's been a while since--"
Female: "Oh, and you got a new coat!"
Male (in a tone suggesting he wanted the conversation to be over): "Yes. That is true."
Female (way too excited, not getting the point): "Wow. So where did you get it?"
(the conversation continued for another couple minutes)
Female: "I never expected to see you here."
Male: "Yeah, it's a surprise."
Female: "I know. I mean, I definitely expected to see you other times, but never here."
--Chicago, Washington & Wells L platform
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Son: "How about that jaguar eating that guy’s face off? How do you fake that?!"
Father: "What about that water birth? How the hell did they do that?!"
Son: "That enemy with the skulls on his arm was perfect."
Father: "Jesus. He may be a voracious alcoholic and a rabid anti-Semite, but that Mel Gibson can make a fuckin’ movie."
--Birmingham, MI, showing of Apocalypto
Eavesdropper: RobD

Annoying thirtysomething female: "I don't even have any kids, but have a thousands onesies at home."
--Chicago, Joe's Bar, Weed St.
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Twenty-something male attorney to twenty-something female attorney on the way home from a Monday Night Football thrashing of the Bengals by the Colts: "So, how is it?"
Female attorney: "I can't suck it. It's too thick."
Seconds later, the female attorney continues: "I will say that the thickness feels really good on my sore throat."
--Somewhere between Indianapolis and Dayton
Eavesdropper: Holt

Teenage pseudo-hipster female: "Do you think I can pull it off?"
Guy: "Oh yeah, definitely." (referring to the fact that she was wearing tall, striped socks with flip flops. In December.)
Hipster chick: "Well, I was going to get some shoes, but I was gonna wait until they go on sell."
Guy: "Oh yeah, they can be expensive if they're not on sale."
Hipster chick: "Yeah, I think I'm gonna get 'em once they go on sell."
--Plymouth, IN, Arby's
Eavesdroppers: GMYH, Ari

John Laskowski after a dunk: "That Armon Basset dunk shot was nothing but net!"
--Bloomington, IN, IU vs. Western Michigan
Eavesdropper: Holt (and anyone else who was watching the game)

Loudmouth and female friend talk on a packed rush hour L train:
Female: "So what are you doing this weekend?" [meaning Christmas weekend]
Loudmouth: "Well, like 7 of us are going to my grandma's and we're gonna have an intervention."
--Chicago, Purple Line train
Eavesdropper: GMYH

What looks like an older brother observes what appears to be a younger sister testing “The SIMS” computer game at Best Buy:
Brother: “This is stupid. They don’t even speak English.”
Sister: “They speak SIMish.”
Brother: “Did you just say that?”
Sister: “I was just going to say that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever said.”
--Rochester, MI, Best Buy
Eavesdropper: RobD

Older Filipino woman opening up a present from her kids: "OOOH, channel."
Daughter who could not stop laughing: "Mom, it’s CHANEL!"
--Chicagoland area
Eavesdropper: 1/2 Pint

Young mother: "You can't have those."
Possibly gay 2-year-old boy: "Why?"
Young mother: "Sweetie, I'm not buying those for you."
(Possibly gay 2-year-old begrudginly takes off black 4-inch spike heels he was walking around in)
--Chicago, DSW, Halsted & Clark
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Drunk Girl, aka Kristin: "Oh god I am so happy to be here…"
Girl: [introducing drunk girl] "Hey, [guy], you remember Kristin, right?"
Guy: [plastic smile] "Yeah, hey, how are ya?"
Kristin: [sarcastic] "I’m excellent, it’s so great to see you, yadda yadda, yeah, yeah… [grabbing own breasts] I know my boobs are still really small, let’s not make a big thing out of it, mmkay?"
Guy: [incredulous] "Yeah, well my dick’s still really large. [Pause] How’s that for not making a big thing out of it?"
Kristin: [indignant] "I guess not much changes, huh?"
Guy: [sneering, gesturing toward preserved anti-cleavage] "No, apparently not!"
--Bloomfield Hills, MI, The Moose Preserve, Woodward Avenue & Square Lake Road
Eavesdropper: RobD

Thanks to everyone who submitted. I expect good things out of New Years, so keep those ears open and memories in tune, and email your eavesdroppings to gmyhblog@yahoo.com.