Midwestern Eavesdropping - 2/22/07

Here you go:

Bitter 26-year-old male to thirtysomething friend wearing a large t-shirt: "You're probably wearing the biggest t-shirt I've seen a non-fat fat guy wear."
--Chicago, Rocks, Schubert & Lakewood
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Whitebread dude talking to DJ: "Hey, can I ask a favor? It's my wife's 30th birthday tonight, and it'd be awesome if you could play her favorite song. It's 'Crazy' by Gnarls Barkley."
--Los Angeles, Q's on Wilshire
Eavesdropper: Weez

Wife to husband (who doesn't like to wear gloves), dead serious: "I hope one day you have to get a finger cut off because of frostbite."
--Chicago, Kenmore & Diversey
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Drunk 17-year-old female to her friend: "Oh my God, I'm totally menopausing."
--Chicago, Red Line train
Eavesdroppers: GMYH, Jesterio

Late 20s professional to fellow late 20s professionals: "The guy said I didn't cheat because I was going for the pastry at the time."
--Chicago, crowded rush hour Purple Line train
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Twentysomething librarian, referring to someone's Ash Wednesday ash cross: "It looked like he got punched in the head with an eraser."
--Chicago, Kenmore & Diversey
Eavesdropper: GMYH

We have several submissions in the non-eavesdropping-but-still-worthy-of-inclusion category.
--Guadalupe, AZ
Eavesdroppers: NaviKate and The Ulltimate Lactose Hater

And then there's this nugget from the Dayton Daily News:

"In the heat of the moment, office mates can't take it
DAYTON — Feb. 12: A complainant with an office in the Biltmore Towers, 210 N. Main St., reported heating problems in the building.
The thermostat would not shut off and the temperature in the office was more than a 100 degrees. He opened a window to alleviate some of the heat.
A female subject approached him and complained about the open window. The complainant told her the window needed to stay open because of the extreme heat.
An officer noted the office was on the fourth floor and the temperature was more than 100 degrees. The subject became angry and judo chopped him on the neck, then left.
She denied hitting him and stated he acted aggressively toward her. The complainant said he wished to file assault charges."
--Dayton, OH
Eavesdropper: The Rookie

Thanks to everyone who submitted. Keep your ears open, and when you hear something hilarious or stupid, email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com, and I'll like put it on the web and shit.