Monday, March 10, 2008

The Lady's Brunch Burger

"We take eighteen ounces of sizzling ground beef, and soak it in rich, creamery butter, then we top it off with bacon, ham, and a fried egg. We call it the Good Morning Burger."
--The Simpsons, Episode 8F22

Jester sent me a recipe for something called the Lady's Brunch Burger. Given the name, you might think it's a dainty, small hamburger, garnished with flowers, lace, babies, bubble baths, and a bottle of Massengill's. After all, it is a "lady's" burger. Not so fast, my friends. A quick glance at the name of the person who submitted the recipe (Paula Deen) hints at gluttonous possibilities. I've never seen a Paula Deen recipe that skimped on lard. Then you look at the recipe. Sweet mother of all that is delicious and artery clogging, this is the closest thing to the Good Morning Burger I've ever seen. I know some women who would eat this, but certainly no "ladies":
-A 1/2 pound hamburger patty
-A fried egg
-2 strips of bacon
-Glazed donuts used as a substitute for a bun

I just simultaneously vomited, cried, ejaculated, and salivated. Brings back memories of my wedding night.

1 comment:

RDC said...

My heart cinched up on me just reading that recipe...though I'd be lying if I said that I'm not seriously considering experimenting with its hang-over curing abilities.