As I'm sure you've heard by now, some bat shit nuts former American Idol contestant named Paula Goodspeed was found dead near Paula Abdul's house, not far from the remains of MC Skat Kat. Naturally, upon reading the story, I searched for her audition video, which was not difficult to find. Apparently she auditioned in January 2006, when she was 27 and still bat shit nuts (but a fashion genius). Great day in the morning, this is hilarious. I've always been a fan of Simon Cowell because he is a raging asshole who holds nothing back, much to my enjoyment. This is no exception. Given her ultimate demise, it's even that much more brutal. I'll admit, I was laughing out loud when I watched (and yes, I realize I'm going to hell for that).
Apparently, she's related to another Simon, you bum lookers, cheeky monkeys. And at least she was completely lucid about her singing abilities. She was right about one thing: she can hold a note well. A suicide note, that is. Too soon? Yep, hell. "You have so much metal in your mouth." Here's to hoping she didn't put a gun in her mouth. Godspeed, Goodspeed.