Midwestern Eavesdropping - 8/13/09

Off-duty Bolingbrook cop, threateningly, to a guy who just threw coaster at his head: "Blue barrel."
--Chicago, Resi's Bierstrube, 2034 W. Irving Park
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Late 20s or early 30s couple, after having what appeared to be a business meeting at Panera, attempt to flirt:
Girl: "So how did you get into zombies?"
Guy: "I don't know, my friends were into them so that's how I got into them."
Girl: "Cool."
Guy: "Are you afraid of zombies?"
Girl: "No, I'm more afraid of rapists."
Guy: "What if a zombie was raping you?"
--Cincinnati, Panera Bread
Eavesdroppers: Baboo, Nudes

Twentysomething drunk country dude: "I'm resting my purple eye."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Hotel customer to male maid: "When can you guys get to my room?"
Maid: "About 11."
Customer looks at his watch: "It's 12."
The maid then turns and walks away.
--Memphis, Doubletree Hotel
Eavesdropper: Szandor

Non-pregnant chick who got hit with a water balloon (around two pregnant women) at a cookout: "I thought MY water broke."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Twentysomething teacher to husband: "I just got some plums. I don't really know what they are though."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Drunk guy discussing pig tails: "You don't wear pig tails unless you want to get boned in the face."
--Chicago, Resi's Bierstrube, 2034 W. Irving Park
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Drunk dude in club-level seats at baseball game, as foul ball went past 20 yards in front of him: "That looked like it was in HD."
--Chicago, U.S. Cellular Field, 35th & Shields
Eavesdroppers: GMYH, Dancing Bear

Possibly drunk fifth-grade teacher: I'm going to REPRESENT MYSELF pregnant one day."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Drunk guy 1: "You know Wendy's chili?"
Drunk guy 2: "Yeah."
Drunk guy 1: "Every single bean that goes into that comes from my cousin's bean farm in Minnesota."
--Chicago, Resi's Bierstrube, 2034 W. Irving Park
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Army dude, without a hint of sarcasm, when "Benny and The Jets" is playing on the radio: "This is my SONG."
--Park Ridge, IL, in a limo
Eavesdropper: GMYH

And, as we do now and then here on Midwestern Eavesdropping, here is something that is not technically eavesdropping, but still worthy of inclusion, in case you can't find the eggs:

--Chicago, Dominick's, Sheffield & Fullerton
Eavesdropper: RDC

Thanks to all who contributed. For you and everyone else, when you overhear something funny, email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com, and it will appear in the next enthralling installment of Midwestern Eavesdropping.