Tuesday Top Ten: Anniversary Edition

I generally don't talk enough about my wife here on GMYH, mostly because I don't want her to get entangled with the paparazzi. But today's Top Ten Tuesday will be a celebration of the Jester, or, more appropriately, a celebration of the last ten years. You see, it was ten years ago tonight that Jessie and I met.

Many of you know the story, but just in case, here is a not-so-brief retelling. It was a Sunday -- a holy day -- a week before classes started at IU. I was going to be a senior. Going into the year, my mindset was that I was not going to get into any serious relationships, since I would be going to law school the next year. That night, as was standard for every night before classes started, people were having room parties in my fraternity. At some point early in the night, I walked down to Hanig's room to bum a cigarette, and I saw a couple girls come in with Hanig's roommate Jon and put their stuff down in their room. I thought nothing of it.

Over the next several hours, I drank Keystone Light two at a time out of an awesome giant stein that Bohmann had purchased for me when he studied abroad in Germany. I was walking down the hall to fill up again, and likely to wallow in self misery for another few hours before going to bed alone, again. As I was walking down the hall, however, I heard Jon's voice behind me blurt out what turned out to be the seven most important words in my life:. "Hey [GMYH], have you met the twins?" I had not.

Little did I realize that Jon was a high school compatriot of the legendary "Huntington North Pope Twins." He introduced me to the two of them -- Jessie and Ari, both about to be sophomores -- and suddenly my gloom-filled, desperate life was a little bit brighter.

While Christoff and Jamie argued with Ari (the elder twin) about who cheated off of whom in a class the three of them had together the previous semester, Jessie (the younger twin) and I regaled each other for hours with tales of Maine and London, respectively. We went into Jon's room (which was a full-on party at that point) and talked some more.

You always hear about people "knowing" when they meet that they've found the person they will marry, and you dismiss it because you think no one can really know that. I kid you not when I say that after talking with Jessie for about an hour, I suddenly had an all-consuming feeling come over my body and in my head, I thought "this is the girl I'm going to marry." I can't explain it or offer any rational explanation, but I do know that it happened and it was very real.

Anyway, with LFO's "Summer Girls" blaring in the background, I eventually drank up the courage to ask Jessie for her telephone number. She obliged, providing not only her phone number, but also her apartment number (although it was without the corresponding address). And the rest, they say, is history.

Over the years, I've given Jessie a variety of nicknames: Clucker, Pen Ganker, Pea Head, Peach, Creole Martha, Dirty Mistreater, Jester, Jesterio, Jesterio the Magnificent (only when she performs sleight of hand tricks). Whatever I have called you, I love you, and the last ten years have been great.

With that, I give you all a moment in our relationship from each of the previous ten years (and this year).

August 27, 1999
I waited two days to call Jessie, since I didn't want to come across as too needy (even though I was). Ironically, when I didn't call the next day, she thought I was never going to call. Anyway, I invited her back over to the house. After a couple hours, I walked her to her car, and things seemed to be going well, so I leaned in to kiss her. She recoiled rather violently. In my mind, I thought "Holy shit, I really misread this one." But in reality, she just turned her head to the side to spit out her gum, and then we kissed for the first time.

May 6, 2000
It was graduation day, for me anyway. John Mellencamp was nice enough to speak at my ceremony. In addition to family that was in town, Amy was in town visiting Jamie. That night, we ran into a conundrum, as Jessie was still not 21, but we all wanted to go out. With the kind of creativity only college kids trying to get alcohol possess, I went to Kilroy's early, got a stamp, came back to Jessie's apartment, and drew it on her hand with a drawing pencil (it was asymmetrical, so the "lick and flip" method would not have worked). Jessie got into Kilroy's with no problem, and we all had a great time, highlighted by watching a couple Acacias shatter every glass that was given to them on the floor under their table. Good Lord, we look young. Summer and much of Fall 2001
The break-up. Yes, you read that correctly, Jessie and I did, in fact, break up for a while. It started in May 2001, when Jessie and I decided to go "on a break" for the summer. Then when we got back to school, I was starting my second year of law school, while Jessie was starting her senior year (i.e., I was the busiest I've ever been, and Jessie was not). Per a mutual written and notarized agreement, we decided to make our "break" a "break up." It lasted for a couple months, and then we realized that, in order to fulfill my prophecy from the night we met, we must be together. I mention this dark period in our relationship only to tell you kids out there that breaking up, while hard to do, is sometimes necessary.

November 1-3, 2002
Jester and I go to Boston, in what was our first non-driving trip together. It was wicked awesome.

May 2003
Jester and I go to London, in what was our first international trip together. It was a present to myself for graduating law school without killing myself or anyone else. We had a wonderful time, highlighted by Jessie's graduation gift to me: a surprise trip to Munich for two nights to see Paul McCartney in concert. We also went to the Hofbrauhaus Needless to say, that was pretty cool.

January 16, 2004
I made an iron-on shirt for Jessie with the worst picture of myself that I could find (the picture below from sophomore year Halloween -- that's real blood!), and I put that and "Marry Me!" on the shirt. I visited Jessie in Bloomington for the weekend. When I got to Bloomington, I told her that I made a shirt for her, which she somehow found to be acceptable. I folded it so she couldn't see what it said, and then threw it on a chair, got behind her and down on a knee. She opened it up and said, "What? I don't get it. Is this for real?" Then she turned around and saw me on one knee, then freaked out, and called me a "crazy beast" (seriously). And then she said yes. Then we went to Arby's.

June 11, 2005
Jester and I get married in a small, but violent, Wyatt-Earp-funeral-themed outdoor ceremony at a forest preserve in the western burbs. Tom Mix wept. Granted, I'm biased, but I believe that our reception was one of the best wedding receptions of all-time, highlighted by the stealing of my sunshine, a hotel employee going out to buy a couple more bottles of Jager after those we purchased ran out, the guy Jessie used to nanny for slapping down his Amex Black card to get the hotel bar to reopen for us for a couple hours, pretty much every single person hooking up (some to applause as they left the bar), and approximately zero hours of sleep before our cab picked us up at 3:45 a.m. to take us to O'Hare for our honeymoon in Jamaica.

April 29, 2006
Jester and I move back to Chicago. God cries. Tradd and Ryan sit on a couch in our alley.

September 23-30, 2007
Jessie and I spearhead a trip to Oktoberfest in Munich, along with 20 other friends. Since I have previously recapped that trip in excruciating detail, I will not do so again. Suffice it to say, that was a great time.

April 25, 2008
Jessie and I become part of the landed gentry, having purchased approximately twenty percent of one-sixth of a small plot of land in the rail city of Chicago. Since then, our fiefdom has grown by approximately one percent.

March 20, 2009
The Year of Feelin' Fine™ thus far has turned out to be all that and more. On March 20, Jessie woke up earlier than I did, as I was taking the day off to watch the NCAA Tournament. She emerged from the bathroom and woke me up with a huge smile on her face. The stick she had just pissed on indicated that she was with child. And it's mine! Had this been written in several more months, obviously March 20 would be replaced with the fetus's actual birth date because, on that day, the prophecy will be fulfilled.

Jester, here's to what was hopefully only the first 10% of our lives together. Yes, I do plan on both of us living well into our 120s. The fate of our great-great-grandchildren depends on it.