After breakfast, we checked out and headed up the road a short distance to San Simeon, which is where the Hearst Castle is located. If you ever make the drive up the PCH, the Hearst Castle is a must. In case you don't know, Hearst Castle is the palatial mountain-side estate of media mogul William Randolph Hearst. Hearst and his "castle" were the inspiration behind Citizen Kane's Charles Foster Kane and his mansion Xanadu, respectively.
The grounds are awesome. It is up on the side of a mountain overlooking the ocean. Hearst had the home built before antiquities laws were in place, so there are tons of artifacts from ancient Rome, Europe, and all over that are literally priceless. The guest houses are probably larger than any house I will ever own. Here's one.
Our tour guide resembled a personified Foghorn Leghorn, although, unfortunately, he did not speak like him.
I say, I say, here'ra few pictuuhs. Seriously, though, this was someone's home.
Unfortunately, right after I took that badass picture of the coolest dining room of all-time, the disk in our camera became corrupted, so we lost a bunch of pictures.After that, we went to a nearby elephant seal sanctuary, which is right on the beach. After being able to get so close to the seals and sea lions the night before, this was a bit of a disappointment because it was fenced off and full of tourists. Otherwise, I would have liked to have wrestled an elephant seal or two.
From there, we headed up the PCH to what I thought was the most scenic part of the drive, through Big Sur. The road winds along cliffs and through mountain passes along the coast, and the views are fantastic. Be warned, though, it takes a LONG time because you are going under 40 for a lot of it. Here are the only two pictures that survived.
We stopped at Julia Pfieffer Burns State Park, which had some pretty cool views of waterfalls, cliffs, and the like. Of course, we have no pictures, so I could be lying my ass off.We hadn't seen enough homeless people, so we headed onto San Francisco, where we had to return the Borrego by 6 p.m. We wanted to do the famed 17-mile drive in Carmel, but it was closed due to the U.S. Open. Also, due to time constraints, we didn't have time to stop in Monterey or Santa Cruz, which was unfortunate because it meant that I wouldn't be able to see what I assume is the largest selection of Banana Slugs t-shirts in the world.
If I could do the drive again, and I might, I would stretch it out into three days. I would stay in San Luis Obispo one night, then in Monterey the next night, before heading up to San Francisco. I would also do it in the nude next time.
As we got closer to San Francisco, the temperature dropped from the mid 80s to the mid 60s. It seemed like it went down about a degree a mile.
We rolled into Alamo with five minutes to spare. I was sweating from head to toe, and Jester was frothing at the mouth, as we walked into the office expecting to come to blows with someone, anyone. After I explained what happened with the Jetta and that the Borrego gets much worse gas mileage, the guy offered to comp the pre-paid gas charge and waive a day's charge, which ended up being about a $75 off. I think he was expecting me to demand more because he flinched when I said that would be fine.
The Alamo location is downtown, so we could walk to our hotel from there. Damn, that city is hilly. And cold. I need my summers to be hot. Anyway, after we checked in, we went to Uncle Vito's, a pizza place that one of Jester's friends recommended, and it was pretty good. We walked up hills both there and back.
Both Jester and I were pretty tired, so instead of doing anything insane – like smoking a bong or killing a hitchhiker (or whatever else San Franciscans do) – we just headed to a bar across the street from our hotel, had a few beers, and called it a night.
Coming in Part 5: Jesse and The Rippers, rogues, and island prisons.
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