Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Tuesday Top Ten: Future Professions For Daughter

Daughter – my daughter – recently had her six-month checkup, and the results were shocking. Plain and simple, she is an Amazon. Her weight is in the 90th percentile, the size of her head is in the 95th percentile ("heeeeed!"), and her height is literally off the charts. Seriously, the doctor's charts didn't got that high. I take this to mean that she is, in fact, taller than any other six-month-old human in the world.

As someone of average height, I'm at the same time terrified of, and excited for, her. Her gigantism got me thinking: what career path should Jester and I push on her? Here is what I came up with.

10. Professional model
9. Professional model/volleyball player
8. Professional model/tennis star
7. Professional model/inconspicuous ninja
6. Professional model/giraffe feeder
5. Homemaker
4. Professional model/professional large shoe model
3. Professional model/WNBA hall of famer, if there is such a thing
2. Professional model/guitar player (she also has grotesquely long fingers)
1. Mothra

Could this enormous girl one day terrorize the citizens of Tokyo while at the same time wearing the latest Calvin Klein pantsuit? Only time will tell.

1 comment:

ulrich said...

juss luke ah the saiez of that gul's heed. it's loik sputnik