Midwestern Eavesdropping - 7/24/09

Overly giddy librarian on laptop: "Turn the pages of the Codex Sinaiticus? YES PLEASE!"
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Half-drunk early 30s burly man picks up a book. "That's a real book. Whoa. . . "
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Early twenties female: "I have great boobs for motorboating. Actually, I was talking to my Mom about them this morning."
--Chicago, in cab near Diversey and Clark
Eavesdropper: Can Can

Old man at a baseball game: "What's that pole doing in the way there? Oh. That's the foul pole."
--Chicago, U.S. Cellular Field
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Drunk fifth grade teacher at a baby shower: "What makes me upset is that I have to drink to feel like a normal person."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Chick: "Fuck that, I don't want to see a dead puffin."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: Tron

Chick's homemade hat at hotel pool: "The only difference between me and a bottle of tequila is that you can't fit 3 fingers inside a bottle of tequila."
--Las Vegas, MGM Grand
Eavesdropper: GMYH

So-called vegetarian twentysomething special ed teacher: "I want to go to Medieval Times for my b-day. . . . And I'm afraid of horses like that."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Guy: "That's not a forehead. That's a fivehead."
--Las Vegas, MGM Grand
Eavesdropper: House of Payne

Twentysomething dude walking around casino: "She was attractive, outside of the gap teeth."
--Las Vegas, MGM Grand
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Drunk fifth grade teacher at a baby shower: "Deep frying a turkey is like pregnancy."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Twentysomething dude to two stippers: "Are you guys on Facebook?"
--Las Vegas, Spearmint Rhino
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Twentysomething special ed teacher: "Yes, her legs were a mirror to her vagina."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Drunk fifth grade teacher: "Whoa, I can't even grab my purse."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Twentysomething teacher while watching the movie Shopaholic: "I can't believe John Candy is saying that. There's no way John Candy would say that."
Another twentysomething teacher: "That isn't John Candy you idiot, that is John Goodman. But they are all the same. They are all fat Johns."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Twentysomething teacher: "Don't call me Donna, I am NOT a ginger!"
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Thanks to those who contributed. For the rest of you, when you overhear something funny, email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com for inclusion in the next Midwestern Eavesdropping.