Tuesday Top Ten: Things Not to Say to Pregnant Women

At some point today, I realized that I completely forgot to post a Tuesday Top Ten yesterday. Fuckin' mescaline. But I digress.

Jester has been a trooper throughout her pregnancy (thus far), and has dealt with particularly severe and recurring morning (and afternoon and night) sickness, as well as all of the other bullshit pregnant women have to put up with.

What I've learned throughout the last five months is that pregnant women don't necessarily take kindly to things that might otherwise be benign, innocent, or even helpful. Thus, I've compiled the following list of ten things you should avoid saying to a pregnant woman:

10. "How about you get a glass of water your damn self."
9. "Have you tried ginger ale and saltines?"
8. "My number one boy's name is Leon, and that's pretty much non-negotiable."
7. "You don't look fat; you look pregnant."
6. "Let's fuck."
5. "I know exactly how you feel."
4. "Are you having twins?"
3. "My [mom, friend, sister, third cousin, concubine, etc.] only gained 15 pounds when she was pregnant."
2. "Look, I'm sure that's just the hormones talking."
1. "Nice gunt."