Weekend Recap

It's been a while since I've done a weekend recap, so now seems as good a time as any.

Thursday night, I hit up the Double Door to see stellastarr* with Chandler, his ladyfriend Lisa, and several hundred people I've never met. Before the show, Chandler, Lisa, and I met up at Blue Line, where they ate, I drank, and all three of us watched some awesome show on one of the Spanish language shows that revolved around motorcycle and bike accidents and scantily clad women bowling. It made no sense and perfect sense all at once.

Chandler is a bit of a stellastarr* groupie, so he conversed with the guitarist before the show, the bassist after the show, and no one in the group during the show. Anyway, the show was good, and I was happy to learn that the Double Door sells Natty Light for $2.50 a can. Having never paid more than about 42 cents for a Natty, I stuck with Oberon. After the show, I stole a Segway and very slowly made my way home.

Friday was a bit more low key. Jester and I drove out to the burbs, where, in order, we (1) went to Oak Brook mall to buy her a pregnant chick dress, (2) ate a full beef and cheese on garlic at Paul's, (3) hooked up a 60-year-old woman's TV and DVD player, and (4) traded a Segway for a baby's bed.

Saturday was killer. After approximately nine hours of sleep, Jessie (who had already been up) woke me up to let me know that she had purchased a Sausage McMuffin with Egg for me. After approximately two and a half more hours of sleep, I rose from my coffin and devoured the now-room-temperature, but still delicious, breakfast sandwich.

I then used a mobile telephone (my own) to contact Chandler, who was nice enough to risk getting stabbed by going up to Rogers Park with me to pick up a dresser that Jessie arranged to be purchased on some website run by a dude named Craig. Upon our return -- free of puncture wounds, mind you -- we put the dresser into my apartment, grabbed Jessie (figuratively!) and headed to Rocks for a late lunch. The burger of the month this month is the Star Spangled Burger, which includes both cheddar and smoked gouda, chopped-up little smokies, onion strings, and chipotle BBQ sauce. It was awesome.

I then painted the walls of a room that will one day be inhabited by my spawn, while listening to The Last Shadow Puppets' The Age of The Understatement, The Dictators' Go Girl Crazy, and The Dead Weather's Horehound. Meanwhile, Jester painted the aforementioned dresser, which Chandler called a bureau.

Saturday night, Jester and I headed to Resi's Bierstrube for Bohmann's birthday gala. I have never been to Resi's before, but I highly recommend it. We sat in their bier garten (or beer garden, for you English-speaking readers), which was excellent. They have a wide variety of German beer, and a pretty solid menu of German staples. I went with the schnitzel, which was excellent. We also managed to drink them out of Hacker-Pschorr Dark (which was also excellent).

For Greg, it was a birthday he won't soon forget. After filling up on schnitzel, kartoffelsalat, and dunkel, he spent much of the evening splayed out in his chair, laughing heartily as a pert, untouched, and unpolluted young Amish woman hand-fed him slices of freshly made sharp cheddar whilst singing lullabies in Pennyslvania Dutch. He then declared this to be "the Year of the Dachshund," slammed a half liter of a beer with an umlaut in its name, and then did the worm down Irving Park while a crowd of disinterested onlookers avoided his pet monkey, who had momentarily escaped from his cage and managed to pepper the sidewalk with his feces while singing the Alka-Seltzer jingle. What was strange is that the peyote I took never really kicked in. After that, I crab walked home.

Yesterday, Jester and I hit up Home Depot to get some more paint. For those of you unfamiliar with the Lincoln Park Home Depot, it is right next to a Guitar Center. There were all these unkept, hirsute dudes in black Slayer shirts lined up outside Guitar Center. It all made sense when we found out that Slayer guitarist Kerry King was going to be appearing there, probably to shred or not smile or disembowel a woodchuck he caught with his bare hands, or whatever it is dudes in Slayer do on Sunday afternoons.

After that, I put another coat paint in the fetus's room, this time while listening to Ratt's Out of the Cellar, Dokken's Under Lock and Key, and The Answer's Everyday Demons. Then I assembled a crib. At one point during said assembly, I went out onto my back deck -- probably for no reason. My neighbors and another couple were eating dinner on their adjacent deck. Somehow in the twenty seconds I was on the deck, I managed to make an awkward joke about the fact that all four of my grandparents are dead. I then went back inside.