Midwestern Eavesdropping - 7/21/11

I've been stockpiling, so here you go:

Late 20s hippie at wedding reception, to stranger: "I just had the best drink ever -- a pint of half and half. Do you like whole milk?"
--Colleton River Plantation, SC
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Mid 20s girl to friend, upon arrival at a street festival: "I'm about to get really drunk, so try to keep up."
--Chicago, Maifest, Lincoln & Western
Eavesdropper: Gregerson

Thirtysomething guy, dead serious: "One time I moved to Jamaica for 36 hours."
--Colorado Springs, Outback Steakhouse
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Late 20s hippie in hotel pool trying to impress a girl: "I make nine figures."
--Westin, Hilton Head, SC
Eavesdropper: Anonymous

Friends converse on a bus:
Guy #1: "We should leave the maid a tip."
Guy #2: "Just the tip."
Girl: "That's my favorite game."
--On a bus somewhere on the side of a mountain near Telluride, CO
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Teenager walking down sidewalk: "I'll be down on that pussy like a deep sea diver."
--Chicago, North Ave.
Eavesdropper: Can Can

Mid 20s guy and middle-aged guy converse at wedding reception:
Guy: "I'm in Laramie, Wyoming."
Old man: "That's right. Studying mining."
Guy: "Clinical psychology."
--Colorado Springs, The Broadmoor
Eavesdropper: GMYH

One 20-something female following another 20-something female into the bathroom after some post-drinking gas: "It smells like Casey Anthony's trunk in there."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: Apollo Creed

Twentysomething female describing coffee: "It's my daily enema."
--In a car somewhere in southwestern Colorado
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Thirtysomething male to friend: "I went outside for a cigarette this morning and ran into a soothsayer."
--Telluride, CO, Ice House Lodge
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Bartender to patron (in June): "Do you have a girlfriend?"
Patron: "No, you're thinking of my old girlfriend, we broke up last August. She just had a baby two weeks ago. (pause) I did the math. Wow.
--Chicago, Huettenbar
Eavesdropper: Gregerson

Twentysomething female, talking about Rocky Mountain oysters: "I just can't eat animal balls. Or human balls for that matter."
--somewhere near Montrose, CO
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Thirtysomething female: "I like the noise balls make."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: Tron

Loud, dumb guy on plane from Chicago to Charleston, to his friend: "There's a 40% chance of rain there. So is it compounded? Like if it's 40% chance for 3 days in a row, does that mean there's 120% it will rain during that time?"
--Somewhere between Chicago and Charleston
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Drunk blonde after street festival: "I know how to swallow, but it's a little much."
--Chicago, Old Town Art Fair
Eavesdropper: 1/2 Pint

Thirtysomething guy at lunch: "I guarantee that if the fraus in Germany lactated, it would come out carbonated."
--Telluride, CO, New Sheridan Hotel
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Guy #1: "Twat's an underused word."
Girl: "We should bring it back."
Guy #2: "It's kind of like cunt."
Girl (who later had to be explained what "twat" means): "Yeah, but no one's really gonna take offense if you call them a twat."
--In a car somewhere near Montrose, CO
Eavesdropper: GMYH

As we often do, here are some pictures that are not necessarily eavsdropping, but worthy of inclusion


--Montrose, CO
Eavesdropper: GMYH


--Chicago, Dominick's, Sheffield & Fullerton
Eavesdropper: RDC

As always, thanks to everyone who contributed. When you overhear something stupid or funny, email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com for inclusion in the next exciting edition of Midwestern Eavesdropping.