Tuesday Top Ten: Fictional Bands

I meant to post this Tuesday, but due to circumstances well within my control that I botched, it didn't happen. Also, I realize that I am now two episodes behind on American Horror Story. With Ace Frehley last Wednesday and a trip to Xanadu today, I have some catching up to do. We'll see what I can do over the next few days. But I digress.


Every now and then, you're watching a movie or TV, and there's a band in the show. They're not real, other than in your vivid, sometimes confusing dreams. I like music and I like TV and movies. I also like fake band names.


Thus, I will list my top ten favorite fictional bands from movies and TV shows. In this list, I am excluding cartoons (no Josie & The Pussycats), as well as bands that released actual albums (aside from soundtracks) or toured extensively (so The Blues Brothers, Spinal Tap, Otis Day & The Knights, The Brady Bunch, and The Partridge Family don't count). Basically, I'm trying to limit it to bands that, for the most part, only appear within the movie or TV show.


Here's my list:


Honorable Mention: Chemical Toilet (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia), The Late Term Abortions (Summer of Sam), Kathleen Turner Overdrive (High Fidelity), The Heights (The Heights), Jesse & The Rippers (Full House), Autobahn (The Big Lebowski), Scrantonicity (The Office), California Dreams (California Dreams), Eddie and the Cruisers (Eddie and the Cruisers), Marvin Berry & The Starlighters (Back to the Future), Citizen Dick (Singles), Wyld Stallyns (Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (and Bogus Journey)), Loveburger (Can't Hardly Wait), Sir Smoke-a-Lot (Half Baked), the band from Empire Records


10. Hot Sundae (Saved By The Bell)
With the ferocious hit song "Go For It" (and corresponding video) and a killer cover of The Pointer Sisters' "I'm So Excited," it's not difficult this girl group would have risen through the pop ranks, were it not for one of their member's drug problems.



9. Crucial Taunt (Wayne's World)
Much of my love for Crucial Taunt has to do with the fact that Tia Carrere is the lead singer. And her name was Cassandra. In addition to "Why You Wanna Break My Heart," they do a great version of "Ballroom Blitz."



8. The Folksmen (A Mighty Wind, SNL, Return of Spinal Tap)
Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, and Harry Shearer might be better known as bandmates in the fictional metal band Spinal Tap (which is excluded for reasons discussed above), but they also did a hell of a job on the other end of the musical spectrum as the folk group, The Folksmen, which started off as a Saturday Night Live sketch in 1982 and ended up being the centerpiece of the 2003 mockumentary A Might Wind. That was a long sentence.



7. Sexual Chocolate (Coming to America)
First of all, what an awesome band name. Second, there's something about Sexual Chocolate lead singer Randy Watson singing "Greatest Love of All" that brings a smile to my face.



6. The Wonders (or The Oneders) (That Thing You Do!)
It's not enough that Tom Hanks is a giant movie star or that he co-starred in the greatest sitcom every about two guys who dress up as chicks so that they can have a place to live, but he also writes movies and songs quite well. He not only wrote the 1996 film That Thing You Do!, but he also wrote The Wonders' Beatles-esque hit song of the same name from the movie. It's catchy as hell. I also think Jimmy treats Faye like shit, and Guy Patterson deserves her more than Jimmy.



5. CB4 (CB4)
In his first post-SNL film, Chris Rock hit a home run by playing the identity-stealing rapper MC Gusto, who sang such hits as "Sweat of My Balls" and "Straight Outta Locash."



4. Electric Dream Machine (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia)
This is still probably my favorite It's Always Sunny episode. Electric Dream Machine, comprised of Charlie and Dennis, bring to life Charlie's "Dayman."

Dayman - watch more funny videos

3. The Zack Attack (Saved By The Bell)
A group of friends forms a band. They are discovered by record producer Brian Fate while he happens to be running by while the band is rehearsing. They get signed and their rise to fame is meteoric, on the strength of songs like "Friends Forever" and "Did We Ever Have a Chance." Internal tensions mount, mostly focused on whether the band should wear outfits designed by the bassist or by a famous fashion designer. A smoking hot publicist tells the lead singer he should go solo. He quits the band right before a show. The band goes their separate ways. Amends are eventually made. Orgies ensue, presumably. The lead singer wakes up to realize it was all just a dream. Son. Of. A. Bitch.



2. Stillwater (Almost Famous)
With songs written primarily by Nancy Wilson and Peter Frampton, Stillwater sounded like an actual '70s rock band. "Fever Dog" is a badass song, as are their other songs, which are available on CD as part of the Bootleg Edition DVD of the movie that I got a few years ago (which I highly recommend).



1. Steel Dragon (Rock Star)
I love the movie Rock Star. For whatever reason (even though I know it's not a "good" movie per se), whenever it is on, I have to watch it. Steel Dragon, the band from the movie, is pretty damn good as well. Several Steel Dragon songs are on the soundtrack, and they are solid hard rock songs. While in the movie, the band is fronted by Chris "Izzy" Coles, played by Marky Mark (and, before him, Bobby Beers, played by Jason Flemyng), the real lead singers on the songs are Steelheart frontman Miljenko Matijevic (Coles's parts) and Talisman, Yngwie Malmsteen, and briefly Journey lead singer Jeff Scott Soto (Beers's parts). The other band members include bassist Jeff Pilson (Dokken, Foreigner), guitarist Zakk Wylde (Black Label Society and Ozzy Osbourne), and drummer Jason Bonham (Bonham), all of whom act in the movie. "Wasted Generation," "We All Die Young," and "Livin' the Life" are my three favorite Steel Dragon songs.