Tuesday Top Ten: Jailbait Songs

Given the recent allegations that have come to light regarding Jerry Sandusky and Bernie Fine, it seems timely to have a Tuesday Top Ten about thoughts of inappropriate touching.  In the rock and roll world, there has long been a coveting of younger women, be it Jerry Lee Lewis marrying his 13-year-old cousin or Jimmy Page's relationship in the '70s with a teenage Lori Maddox.  Oddly, it's not that unusual for songs to be written about jailbait. 

So what constitutes a "jailbait song"?  It has to be sung by someone over 18 about someone under 18.  Thus, Another Bad Creation's hit "Iesha" doesn't qualify because both the boys in the group and Iesha were under 18.  All that is is adorable.

So anyway, here are my top ten jailbait songs, along with their creepiest lines.

10 (tie).  "Good Morning Little Schoolgirl" by The Yardbirds (1961) (cover of a 1937 Sonny Boy Williamson song)

"Good morning little schoolgirl / Good morning little schoolgirl / Can I go home with you?"  No.

10 (tie).  "Goin' Blind" by Kiss (1974)

"Little lady can't you see / You're so young and so much different than I / I'm 93, you're 16."  When I was your age, Grover Cleveland was president. Now take off your corset and bang me.

9.  "You're Sixteen" by Ringo Starr (1974) (cover of a 1960 Johnny Burnette song)

"You're 16 / You're beautiful / And you're mine."  On the bright side, there is a kazoo.

8.  "Little Queenie" by Chuck Berry (1959)

"She's too cute / To be a minute over seventeen / Meanwhile I was thinkin' / She's in the mood."  This was the a-side to a song called "Almost Grown."  Not even kidding.

7.  "Jailbait" by Motorhead (1980)

"Teenage baby you're a sweet young thing / Still tied to Mommy's apron strings / I don't even dare to ask your age / It's enough to know you're here backstage / You're jailbait, and I just can't wait."  I love Lemmy.

6.  "Young Girl" by Gary Puckett and The Union Gap (1968)

"Young girl, get out my mind / My love for you is way out of line."  At least he recognizes that.

5.  "16 Candles" by The Crests (1958)

"You're only 16 / But your my teenage queen."  To this guy's credit, at least he waited until the day she turned 16 to start signing about her.

4.  "Dancing Queen" by Abba (1976)

"You are the dancing queen / Young and sweet / Only 17."  There's no reason a 17-year-old girl needs to be out clubbing, even in Sweden where I assume everyone is very nice.

3.  "Christine Sixteen" by Kiss (1977)

"I don't usually say things like this to girls your age, but when I saw you coming out of the school that day, that day I knew, I knew, I've got to have you, I've got to have you."  Why was Gene Simmons hanging out outside a high school?

2.  "I Saw Her Standing There" by The Beatles (1963)

"Well she was just 17 / You know what I mean."  I don't, Paul.

1.  "Seventeen" by Winger (1988)

"Daddy says she's too young / But she's old enough for me."  Great song.

Any other songs Humbert Humbert would like that I missed?