Tuesday, November 03, 2015

Tuesday Top Ten: Halloween Costumes (2015 Edition)

In case you were hiding under a rock -- which I frankly wouldn't believe anyway -- you know that this past Saturday was Halloween, which is my favorite holiday.

I prefer to stretch Halloween out as much as possible, so Friday night, I continued my relatively recent Halloween tradition of costume karaoke at Rocks.  We had a pretty good crowd this year.

I decided to go as the devil, and Jester went as a bat (which she has been several times before).  

The Prince of Darkness lent himself well to a variety of karaoke possibilities, since rock and roll is his music.  I went with "Sympathy for the Devil," "Highway to Hell," and Warrant's "Heaven."  It was poignant.

Not having had enough to drink, at about 1, several of us decided to go to Carol's, the country-tinged late night bar in Uptown.  When I walked in the door, the band looked at me.  Two of the band members refused to make eye contact with me for the rest of the night, even when I stood in front of them as they played "Dead Flowers" and stared intently while mouthing the words.

Saturday morning came quite quickly and with physical pain in or near my head.  Excedrin Migraine did its job admirably, allowing me to coach Daughter and Lollipop's soccer team to a decisive victory in the driving rain, clinching the league title in the process.  My "let the best kid pretty much do what he wants and score at will" strategy paid off.  After the game, Daughter asked me why everyone on every team got a trophy.  This coming from the girl who only had one assist this season.

The rain kept up most of the day, but finally ended around 4:30 or 5, so the kids could do some trick-or-treating.  Daughter was a witch, Lollipop was a mermaid with a penchant for fleece, and Son was Nemo.  They were both adorable in their costumes and vigilant in their quest for candy.

Because it is my goal to terrify children, for trick-or-treating, I dressed up as Death.

After an hour or two of trick-or-treating and post trick-or-treating drinks, I may or may not have harvested a couple children and their candy.

But enough about me.  As I do every year, I will rank the top ten costumes I saw, whether in person, on Facebook, or otherwise.

10.  Axl and Slash
You know I have a soft spot for GNR.  These are a couple of my friends.  I only hope he didn't down a bottle of Jack and pass out standing up, like I did when I dressed up as Slash back in 2010.

9.  Han Solo, Princess Leia, and Chewbacca
How long is a parsec, anyway?

8.  All Paul
This is Craig Finn and his touring band for his solo album.  As you know, I also enjoy any KISS related costume.

7.  The Most Interesting Man in the World
The bar didn't have Dos Equis.  Thankfully, he only prefers Dos Equis, so he made due.

6.  Ninja vs. Unicorn
This is a total beer nerd costume, courtesy of my friends Chris and Allison.  Chicago brewery Pipeworks has an IPA called Ninja vs. Unicorn, which is one of Chris's favorite beers.  If Ninja vs. Unicorn was a stout or a porter, this would have been higher on the list.

5.  Big Boy
This is my nephew, Big Boy.

4.  The tamale guy
If you've been to enough bars in Chicago, at some point, you have undoubtedly come across the tamale guy, a sweatshirted, mustachioed, ambiguously aged dude who sells homemade tamales out of a cooler to drunk people.  They are cheap and delicious.  This costumed tamale guy went so far as to buy 40 tacos from Taco Bell and hand them out at the bar.  If he had made his own tamales, he might have been #1.  

3.  '80s school picture guy
Whilst trick-or-treating, I came across this dad, who not only had the '80s garb and '80s laser school picture background, but he also went the extra step by shaving the lines in the side of his head.

2.  Sex Panther

It's quite pungent.  And a phenomenal costume.  In fact, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.

1.  McDowell's
There's a human costume, and then there's a store costume.  The legendary, insult-focused local hot dog stand, The Wiener's Circle, won Halloween this year by dressing itself up as McDowell's from Coming to America, both on the outside and with their employees' uniforms.  The best part is that it's across the street from a McDonald's.

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