So the wife was feeling a little under the weather a couple mornings ago, and she says to me (in jest), "Maybe it's morning sickness," to which I replied, "Don't be stupid." Nonetheless, it got me thinking. With the recent appointments of John Roberts and Samuel "Boom Boom" Alito to the U.S. Supreme Court and South Dakota's immediate passage of the most restrictive abortion law in the country, the protection of a woman's right to choose is in jeopardy.
This is a call to arms (or, more appropriately, a call to bed) for women and the guys who love to plow them. It's high time for a good old fashioned right-to-choice sexual revolution. Don't let some self-righteous conservatives and Bible-thumping psychos ruin your sex life. Take advantage of the right to choose while you still have it.
- Do you hate condoms? Who doesn't? I know I do.
- And what about diaphragms? If you're like me, you have no idea how one is even used.
- Scared of sponges? So am I.
- Has digital penetration runs its course? You bet.
- Does the thought of yet again performing fellatio or cunnilingus on your partner make you want to puke? Most likely.
- Sore backside? Put down the Astroglide.
- Is the rhythm method taking the rhythm out of your sex life?
- Why pull out now when you can pull out up to three months down the road?
- Not disciplined enough to take pill after pill, day after day? All you need to worry about is one teency weency pill that you only need to take one time: RU-486.
- Is the only thing you want implanted into your body the warm phallus of a complete stranger? You're not alone.
- Does the thought of having a child that looks like your Catholic husband frighten you? Despite what he might tell you, there is an option that doesn't involve annulment.
If you think any or all of these questions might describe how you feel, it's time to get out there and have some of the best consequence-free (and preferably disease-free) sex of your life while you still have options. Because before you know it, your only options will be to actually have a child or to get one of those completely safe back-alley abortions that were so popular in the pre-1973 South. Neither are options you want to deal with at this point in your life.
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6 comments:
don't be disingenuous, GMYH. this kind of chicken little alarmism is what gets abortion nuts all wound up in the first place.
would an alteration or reversal of casey/planned parenthood eliminate or criminalize abortion? no. it would instead leave the matter for the states to decide. debatable, yes. apocalypse? no.
however, your bullet points are well *cough cough* conceived (?).
Oh anonymous, you and I both know that leaving this matter to the states would essentially eliminate the right to choice in most states, leaving poor women throughout the country the option of (1) traveling to California, New York, Illinois, or Massachusetts or (2) the pre-1973 back-alley option. For the sake of women who can't afford to travel several states away, some things are better left to the protections of the federal constitution than the uneasy hands of state legislators.
anonymous makes a good point. but does he/she really want to see a return of the "water-pik and drano" era?
Doesn't the 10th Amendment say something about the states being able to make those laws not specifically covered by the Constitution? Or am I reading it wrong?
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.
I could not find the abortion amendment.
Scalia,
If you would like to get into a discussion of constitutional law, I will be glad to send you my textbook from my first year of law school. After reading, then we can have an informed debate about textualism vs. substantive background considerations, as well as the many constitutionally protected freedoms that we enjoy that are not explicitly mentioned in the constitution.
Thanks for the terms textualism and substantive background considerations, they are quite sexy. I'll have to use them in the future. I have been studying Black's Law Dictionary, but haven't gotten as far as S yet. Maybe I'll jump there tonight.
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