I am writing today to dispell the rumor (or rumour, for you British readers) that I am Jason Schwartzman's twin brother. I am almost three years older than him. Whether or not he is my long lost middle brother remains to be seen. DNA tests to this point have been tampered with, and thus, unconclusive. Based on looks, and my parents' anxiety-ridden and cryptic excuses when I bring up the issue, it is entirely possible. Below are some pictures of Jason that may shed some light on the subject:
Possible blood relations aside, Intern has unveiled a new theory as to why I like The OC so much. The following excerpt was taken from a threatening email I received from Intern this morning: "[O]h and by the way, Jason Schwartzman's band, Phantom Planet, wrote and perform[ed] the theme song 'California' from [T]he OC. Explains why you like the show so much." I can't deny that at least some of my love for The OC is beacuse the show has one of the greatest theme songs in television history. And I can't deny that I feel this way in part because the theme song was written in part by someone who may or may not be related to me. There, I said it. God, it feels like a thousand-pound weight has been lifted from my broad and extremely muscular shoulders.
Posts
6 comments:
You do realize, don't you, that if you're related to Jason Schwartzman that means you are related to the entire Coppola family, including but not limited to Francis Ford, Sofia, and of course cousin Nicolas Cage. You could totally get free wine from their vineyard and shit. I think this definitely worth investigating.
Nice work Beth. My quest has only just begun.
you have been known to be slightly over-dramatic... much like your alledged cousin, Nick Cage.
Hey, Valley Girl, Gone in 60 Seconds, and Con Air are by far the three greatest movies of the past 50 years, due mainly to the fact that Nicholas Cage brought his brand of confused facial expressions and in-depth method acting. Anyone who can't admit that needs to come to grips with reality.
In all seriousness, though, Raising Arizona really IS one of the best movies EV-ER.
Fine mullet Nick Cage donned in Con-Air. Looks like he could actually be from the region.
Post a Comment