Hidy Hey...

The weekend in Chicago was a good one. It was clear from the get-go that God wanted to test my mettle. Just before Indy, it started to rain. And then it started to get harder and harder and harder. I had never heard rain pound against my car so hard. That's because it was hail. Sweet. As if hail damage would do anything to lift my '91 Accord's already fragile self-esteem. The hail subsided, although the rain continued. I got to Lafayette, where I filled up. Nothing good can possibly happen in Lafayette. As an example, while inside the gas station, I heard a tornado warning on the radio. I got back on the road as soon as possible, since I've heard the best thing to do with a tornado is try to outrun it in your 15-year-old compact car. After successfully doing so, God threw a curve ball at me: fog. Not just a little fog. This was dense, can't-see-10-feet-in-front-of-you fog. Were it not for the forsight of the man who invented flashers (the lights on your car, not the guys in the trenchcoats), who knows what would have happened.

Here are some highlights from the weekend:

• Jesterio the Magnificent found an apartment for us that is a block from (1) the L, (2) the dog park, (3) the White Hen, (4) two bars, and (5) an upscale, overpriced gym that we'll probably end up joining because it's so close. Kudos to Jester on the find.
• I went to the Burwood 2 nights in a row. And it would've been 3 if it wasn't for you meddling kids and that pesky dog.
• Saturday afternoon I was enjoying a lazy day on the couch when I saw White Sox second baseman Tadahito Iguchi make one of the best plays I've ever seen -- a play that I'm not sure any other second baseman in MLB history has made. It turns out that the Japanese really are more efficient than Americans.
• On Saturday night, while taking one of our free shots courtesy of our waitress at the Burwood, Jessie totally gave me some bedroom eyes.
• Friday night, I was able to dine on some Papa Romeo's pizza after the bars, while watching Cesar Milan work his freaky ass dog voodoo on "The Dog Whisperer." If only I knew how to intimidate the shit out of dogs with my mind, I wouldn't have to support myself with that silly law degree.
• Sunday's torrential downpour, combined with the grossly negligent upkeep of the sewer drains along the 800 block of Diversey caused a sweet half-block mini flood, complete with water over the curb and onto the sidewalk. To cross one of the cross streets, you had to walk practically halfway down the block in order to escape ankle-high water in the middle of the street. Not even that could keep me from going to White Hen to get a freshly made egg salad sandwich.
• Thinking that it was going to be over 70 the whole weekend and that my personal hygiene has evolved far past that of other humans, I failed to pack a jacket of any sort, or any jeans or boxers. The move didn't end up paying off, so I had to visit a local clothier to obtain new jeans and boxers and then, to borrow a jacket, I had to visit a local street tough and mime apprentice who goes only by "Christoff."
• On the drive back, I thought of an awesome name for the virus with which Hoosier fans will be stricken when IU head football coach Terry Hoeppner takes us to a bowl this year: Hoeppititis. Plans for t-shirts are already in the works.
• Oh, and I heard Jesus made it back. Congrats JC!