Just Another Day

Well, the Fortnight of Andrew continues with the vigor of a paraplegic sloth.

So far today I have done the following:

1. Performed an exorcism on a cat, which was a pain in the ass because I'm allergic.
2. For the fun of it, I decided to drive to Peoria and back without stopping, not even to throw rotten eggs and tomatos at the Exit 209 sign for Odell. Those smug Odellians really chap my ass, with their fancy sneakers and rock and roll music.
3. Ran around the block four times.
4. Walked a coneheaded dog, which took a while because she kept smacking her cone into walls and fences.
5. Watched some TV, heard a John Mellencamp song. 432 times.
6. Talked to Holt via mobile telephone.
7. Cooked a turducken.
8. Entered a Mickey Rourke trivia contest.
9. Invented edible chalk, and then lost the recipe.
10. Sat on couch for hours at a time, staring mindlessly at the television screen and the computer screen.
11. Finally learned double dutch thanks in large part to some local schoolchildren.

Tonight I may go to Brew & View at The Vic, because I can. Or I maybe I'll take Jessie shopping to stores she wants to shop in, and then we'll do a little lunch, probably at the Cheese Haus, followed by some golfing. And then at night, we'll take in an opera, probably Die Fledermaus, and then I'll follow it up with a drive to a secluded beach where I'll pop on the radio and we'll slow-dance till the sun comes up. Brew & View will be cheaper, though, and I don't have a job, so I'll probably just do that.

I may post some sweet links to videos and such a little later. What the hell else do I have to do?

Currently I'm watching Bravo's Sexiest Moments in Film countdown while challenging myself to nine-and-a-half-week sadomasichism contest.