"Let's Stop Wasting All This Time"

I don't have time today for a full Hair Band Friday report, but rest assured, I am totally doing "it" with random chicks who are overly impressed with my legal research and memo writing skills, all while celebrating yesterday's 21st anniversary of the release of Dokken's Under Lock and Key album (as I'm sure you are), listening to such completely kickass Dokken or Dokken spinoff tunes as "Burning Like a Flame" by Dokken, "Sweet Sister Mercy" by Lynch Mob, and "When Some Nights" by Don Dokken.

I also don't have time for a full OC recap (especially considering there were new episodes Wednesday AND Thursday). Briefly, here's what's important:

1. "Gay dad trumps slutty mom." Kaitlin Cooper utter this phrase while one of Luke's brothers shaved the other's chest in Kaitlin's room. You had to be there, I guess.
2. While there was minor blood letting, Ryan did not kill Volchok. It turns out that Clyde "Kevin" Volchok is just as disturbed about the events that transpired the night he negligently homicided or possibly second-degree murdered Marissa Cooper. After this uncharacteristically heartfelt admission by Volchok, Ryan -- rather than kill him with a broken beer bottle, which would have apparently been alright with Volchok -- chose to let Volchok live with the pain of his actions for the rest of his life. Only Ryan Atwood can choose who lives or dies. Volchok turned himself in and will now be breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a very happy inmate, who may very well one day (without reason) make a sign that says "FBI Agent Chris Saviano, Stop Raping My Wife!" Tune in next week to find out.
3. Taylor Townsend is fucking crazy and it's turning me on.
4. Summer came back to Newport for Thanksgiving (which apparently happens 2 weeks early in Newport) and invited a bunch of vagabonds to the Cohens for Thanksgiving. One of the street urchins recognized the dog that Kaitlin Cooper had found on the street, and said, "I'm 90% sure that's my dog." He was 100% right.

Have a hell of a weekend while I'm pimpin' in the Metz Suite (in the Metz Suite).