Twentysomething special ed teacher: "You know, the fire stuff that comes out of a volcano, what is it called? Fire? Magma? Lava? Liquid fire?"
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian
Two women on the L discuss how easy their job is:
Woman 1: "It's not like rocket scientist."
Woman 2: "Yeah, definitely not."
--Chicago, Brown Line train
Bathroom attendant at a bar, just before Tigers opening day: "The jack-off lotion is right there....I use it."
--Detroit, Cheli's Chili
Excited twentysomething female on crowded train: "I looked in the mirror, and my entire face was covered in ink."
Friend: "Did someone put ink on your face?"
Female: "I don't know."
--Chicago, Brown line train
50 something US Marshal: "I could use a decent meal, I should say."
60 something US Marshal: "Would you like half a bagel, sir?" [tears with both hands, offers]
50 something US Marshal: "I would. But yours, sir, is not an option."
--Allentown, PA, Federal Courthouse
Twentysomething guy smoking outside bar, talking to friends, apparently about a girl: "Yeah, but she's always got them titties!"
--Chicago, Rocks, Schubert & Lakewood
Eavesdropper: Wee Wee