Thursday, April 24, 2008

Midwestern Eavesdropping - 4/24/08

Here you go:

L conductor over loud speaker while at a station, where twentysomthing mother is trying to enter train but her kids are running all over the platform: "Please mind your children."
Mother (yelling while standing in the train, but sticking her head out of the open door): "Please mind your fuckin' biz-ness!"
--Chicago, Clark and Lake L station
Eavesdropper: GMYH

A fortysomthing man and woman have a fairly audible conversation in very public hallway of court:
Man: "Are you in Al Anon?"
Woman: "Yeah"
Man: "So you have a problem."
Woman: "I'm an enabler."
(Conversation continues and turns to man's friend)
Woman: "Does he drive anymore?"
Man: "No, he's dead."
--Wheaton, IL, DuPage County courthouse
Eavesdropper: GMYH

At 9 a.m. in a courtroom, two strangers (a twentysomething male and a fiftysomething woman) strike up a conversation:
Man: "The one day I take off work to go to the Cubs game I have to go to court."
Woman: "What time is the game?"
Man: "7."
Woman: "I think you should be fine."
Man: "Yeah, but I wanted to be able to drink before the game."
--Wheaton, IL, DuPage County courthouse
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Secretary sternly talking on phone at 8:30 in the morning: "Do you know how bad those people were? They hated this country."
--Chicago, Madison & Wacker
Eavesdropper: GMYH

One middle-aged business man to another while briskly walking to work: "You gotta help me find this guy and we gotta kill him."
--Chicago, Madison and Franklin
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Another submission that isn't technically eavesdropping, but worthy of inclusion:
At 7:45am on a Wednesday, an approximately 45 year old man blasts MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This" from his car, with all his windows down.
--Chicago, Kennedy Expressway
Eavesdropper: Trashton

Thank me for my submissions, and Trashton too for his. For the other 5,999,999,998 of you, keep those ears open at work, home, in the bedroom, etc., and when you hear something funny, send it to for the next installment of Midwestern Eavesdropping.

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