Around 10 this morning, I made my first trip to the latrine, parking myself in the third stall. I'm sitting there minding my own business, silently weeping, when someone barges into the first stall. Normally, this wouldn't be an issue, since it is common for males to excrete waste in the men's room. But this was no man. This, my friends, was a phantom. I don't even think he pooped. It sounded like he walked into the stall, closed the door, dropped trou, sat down, took one pull on the toilet paper, pulled his pants back up, flushed, and exited. He did have the courtesy of washing his hands, which, in this instance, I don't even think was necessary.
Also, with regard to the 20-song mixtape, I feel extremely guilty that I will not be in the office tomorrow for Hair Band Friday (and thus unable to share an HBF mixtape with you), so I felt the need to give you something.