Only 970 More to Go

Jaleh posted this list of "1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die," which she got from someone else, who got it from someone else. Apparently it was compiled by Dr. Peter Boxall, whoever that might be. I don't plan on reading 1001 books in my lifetime, or dying for that matter. However, I was surprised at how many books and authors on the list I had never heard of. Who the fuck is this "Kurt Vonnegut"? Sounds foreign and obtuse. I was even more surprised at how many books on the list I have read, considering my boycott on reading for pleasure between 1989 and 2006 (although all but 5 of the books on the list were read as part of required reading for class or for book reports in grade school, junior high, high school, or college). Rather than post the whole list, I'll just fill you in on what I've read. I think you'll be more than impressed at how well-read I am.

2000s - 0
It appears that every book I've read that was published since 2000 is, much like my existence, wholly unimportant. Needless to say, The Dirt should be on the list.

1900s - 20
Glamorama – Bret Easton Ellis
American Psycho – Bret Easton Ellis
The Things They Carried – Tim O'Brien
Beloved – Toni Morrison
The Shining – Stephen King
In Cold Blood – Truman Capote
To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
The Once and Future King – T.H. White
Lord of the Flies – William Golding
The Adventures of Augie March – Saul Bellow
Invisible Man – Ralph Ellison
The Catcher in the Rye – J.D. Salinger
Animal Farm – George Orwell
The Little Prince – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Native Son – Richard Wright
The Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck
All Quiet on the Western Front – Erich Maria Remarque
The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man – James Joyce
Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad

1800s - 10
The Awakening – Kate Chopin
The Time Machine – H.G. Wells
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde – Robert Louis Stevenson
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn – Mark Twain
Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoevsky
A Tale of Two Cities – Charles Dickens
Moby-Dick – Herman Melville
The Scarlet Letter – Nathaniel Hawthorne
A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens

1700s - 0
Fuck the 1700s.

Pre-1700 - 1
Aesop's Fables – Aesopus