Just when you think Purdue and the homely town in which its grimy feet are planted couldn't possibly be more associated with feces, something great comes along to prove you wrong. In case you don't know about Purdue, it's a public university founded in 1869 by a man who was denied a professorship at Indiana University. Thus, he headed up north and, when the sun stopped shining, he proclaimed, "This is it," then took a huge dump just west of Lafayette. That pile of excrement grew and grew until one day it became the bastion of ugly women, animal husbandry degrees, and underachieving basketball teams that you know it to be today: a school where students willingly sniff manure and where the women are so physically unkempt as to prompt a letter to the school newspaper by a doomed male student. Now, however, it's official: West Lafayette reeks of shit.
According to an article in the Indy Star (which is not affiliated in anyway with The Onion), the city of West Lafayette has purchased a giant fan to ward off the otherwise over-powering stench of fecal matter (thanks to Holt for the link). Guys, this isn't a joke. They actually bought a fucking fan that will blow a vanilla smell to keep the shit smell away from the townsfolk during the Taste of Tippecanoe festival. A fan! Brilliant! For once the taste of Tippecanoe won't be other people's solid waste. Now, I'm no engineer -- and nor would I want to be because they're often sickly and untoward -- but there are a whole shitload (pun intended) of engineers at Purdue, and apparently they couldn't come up with anything better than to buy a giant Glade plug-in. Upon reading this article, loyal GMYH reader Kysmille stated, electronically, "All through my childhood, my understanding of the directions to Purdue was: 'Go North till you smell it, then head West till you step in it.' I suppose my dad wasn't that far off." Indeed.
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