Twentysomething librarian, after hearing about the Tahiti One Handed Deluxe: "Who puts ketchup on a taco?"
--Chicago, Athenian Room, Webster & Sheffield
Eavesdropper: GMYH
Twentysomething female at 1:40 p.m.: "When vodka is the first thing that hits your lips for the day, it's not good."
--Chicago, Damen & Cornelia
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian
Thirtysomething male: "I have cousins who should've been better at blow jobs. I don't mean that in a bad way."
--Chicago, Rocks, Schubert & Lakewood
Eavesdropper: GMYH
Twentysomething female leaving a voicemail message while standing outside a bar: "I'm just gonna put it out there: I wanna fuck tonight."
--Chicago, outside Deja Vu, Lincoln & Sheffield
Eavesdropper: Gregerson
Hot twentysomething girl, batting leadoff in a game of Flip Cup, and discussing how the game will start:
Guy: "Ok, what is it, tap the cups and go?"
Girl: "Oooh, I love to tap and go!!"
--Charlotte, NC
Eavesdropper: Yehday
Twentysomething female: "I don't like the smell of smoke but I like the taste of smoke."
--Chicago, Leavitt & Augusta
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian
Drunk male: "This tastes like Big Foot's dick."
--Chicago, Leavitt & Augusta
Eavesdropper: AlyK
A cab driver named Lloyd and two passengers are discussing the challanges of monogamy:
Passenger: "Even if you have a great girl, sometimes you just feel like something different."
Lloyd: "Exactly. Sometimes you just want a woman who will put on a helmet and take a heel up the ass."
--Ann Arbor, MI, in a cab
Eavesdroppers: Gregerson and Creature
Twentysomething female: "We'd be so skinny. . . We could drink Rip It and smoke cigarettes all the time."
--Chicago, Leavitt & Augusta
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian
Wayne Larrivee at a bar, to his co-anchors: "We are foot soldiers in this war, not generals."
--Bloomington, IN, Nick's English Hut
Eavesdroppers: GMYH and Trashton
Twentysomething special ed teacher: "I hope some of my students saw me smoking so I can get some street credit"
--Chicago, Leavitt & Augusta
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian
Gay male shoe store customer stands in line at checkout with his partner:
Clerk: "Sir, I can take you down here."
(Guy doesn't hear her)
Clerk: "Sir, I can take you down here."
(Guys start walking over)
Partner: "Sorry, he only answers to ma'am."
--Chicago, DSW, Halsted & Clark
Eavesdropper: GMYH
Fifth grade teacher: "My doctor prescribes me Valtrex, I swear it isn't genital!"
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian
This is not really eavesdropping, but worthy of inclusion.
This confused me. I saw a large man wearing a shirt that proclaimed him to be the coach of a football team I didn't recognize. The slogan on the back of the shirt read:
We Bout To Blow Up
So Don't Do Us
Do You
No punctuation. If any of your faithful readers know what this means, I'd love to know.
--Chicago, McDonald's Oasis on the Skyway
Eavesdropper: Gregerson
Thanks as always to those who contributed. When you happen to overhear something hilarious, email it to gmyblog@yahoo.com, and it will be included in the next exciting installment of Midwestern Eavesdropping.
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1 comment:
I speak fluent Jive. I think what the large black man was trying to convey with his t-shirt is that his football team is of exceptional caliber. So, before you "do us" (attempt to beat his team in an enjoyable game of foot and ball), you should "do you"(go fuck yourself). Harsh statement, but I think it gets the point across nicely.
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