The Madness

It's here, my friends. Starting tomorrow night with the play-in game in Dayton between the once-mighty Winthrop Eagles and first-time dancers, the Arkansas-Pine Bluff Golden Lions, and ending Monday April 5 with the championship game that I hope excludes Kentucky and Purdue (among many others – I'm looking your way, Robert Morris), we are entering the most exciting three weeks in sports: the NCAA men's basketball tournament. I get giddy when I think about it, and sometimes I throw up a little, but I also drink a lot.

This is the most wide-open NCAA tournament in recent memory. Unlike last year, where it was simply unwise to exclude North Carolina from your Final Four, this year there are about 14 teams that have legitimate shots at winning it all. I have absolutely no confidence in any of the 18 brackets I have filled out. Then again, most of them follow Jay Bilas's prediction that Cornell will be going to the Elite Eight. Andy Bernard must be shitting himself right now.

But seriously, any time I have Baylor going past the Sweet 16, Kansas State going to the Final Four, or Vanderbilt making it out of the first round, I cringe a little bit. But the neurosis that accompanies filling out brackets prevents me from changing my picks because I know damn well that if change anything, Baylor and K State will meet in the national title game, and God will continue laughing at me.

Here are my thoughts – many of which are contradictory, biased, and/or entirely devoid of logic – which you are free to ignore, use, or mock openly:

Midwest Region
Easy Final Four pick: Kansas
Darkhorse Final Four pick: Michigan State
Least Favorite team: Ohio State
First Round upset special: #11 San Diego State over #6 Tennessee
1-4 seed I think will lose in the first weekend: #4 Maryland
Don't be surprised if: Georgia Tech makes the Sweet 16

West Region
Easy Final Four pick: Syracuse
Darkhorse Final Four pick: Xavier
Least Favorite team: Minnesota (I'm actually indifferent towards Minnesota, but every other team in this bracket is just so damned lovable)
First Round upset special: #13 Murray State over #4 Vanderbilt
1-4 seed I think will lose in the first weekend: #4 Vanderbilt
Don't be surprised if: North Texas beats Kansas State and UTEP makes the Sweet 16

East Region
Easy Final Four pick: Kentucky
Darkhorse Final Four pick: Temple
Least Favorite team: Kentucky
First Round upset special: #11 Washington over #6 Marquette
1-4 seed I think will lose in the first weekend: #4 Wisconsin
Don't be surprised if: Kentucky loses in the second round to either Texas or Wake Forest, New Mexico loses in the first round, or New Mexico makes it to the Final Four

South Region
Easy Final Four pick: Duke
Darkhorse Final Four pick: Notre Dame
Least Favorite team: Purdue
First Round upset special: #13 Siena over #4 Purdue
1-4 seed I think will lose in the first weekend: #4 Purdue
Don't be surprised if: Purdue fans complain for years to come about how their first round exit would have been a Final Four if they had a healthy Robbie Hummel

My Final Four picks (bear in mind, this is an amalgamation of 18 brackets, and I don't necessarily want this to happen, nor do I really expect it to happen, but right now, on this computer screen, it seems to make sense, especially given the amount of mescaline I've ingested, you silly little turtle):
Champ: Syracuse
Runner-up: West Virginia
Other two: Kansas, Duke

And, of course, the NCAA tournament has nothing on the NIT, CBI, CIT when it comes to unpredictability. Try getting into a pool for one of those tournaments and see how long you last. Betting on any of those tournaments is about as prudent as giving a small business loan to Charles Manson. In case you're interested, I have UAB over Dayton in the NIT finals, I like Oregon State to defend its CBI crown (thus solidifying itself as the greatest third-tier college basketball post-season invitational champion of all-time), and I think the Fairfield Stags have as good a shot as anyone at bringing home the CIT crown.

Interesting stat: this is the first time since 1966 that the NCAA tournament will be without Indiana, North Carolina, and UCLA.

Uninteresting stat: there will once again be an NIT, a CBI, and a CIT.