Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Kanye's Mouth is Worth More Than Your Mouth

It has come to my attention that rap mogul Kanye West has replaced several of his bottom teeth with diamonds. He explained on Ellen that his new teeth are not caps. I shit you not, he had his real teeth removed and then replaced with teeth-shaped diamonds. Sure, diamonds are very hard, so he can now easily break up those otherwise hard to chew Grammy Awards, but this is insane. I'm not saying I wouldn't do the same thing if I had as much money as Kanye. Actually, that's exactly what I'm saying. I don't ever want to put myself in a situation where people would be in any way encouraged to forcibly rip my teeth from my mouth. Kanye, I beg you to heed the following advice: do not trust anyone with pliers who doesn't already have diamond teeth.

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