Thursday, October 21, 2010

Midwestern Eavesdropping - 10/21/10

Girl talking on cell phone waiting for train: "First of all, the only thing I remember was the catheter."
--Chicago, State and Grand
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Sign hanging from balcony facing elevated mass transit system: "If you're paralyzed, you can't fuck - buckle up."
--Chicago, facing Brown/Purple Line tracks near Halsted when traveling north
Eavesdropper: Pissed Off

Thirtysomething female enters elevator talking on cell phone, eyes occupants, muffles voice: "Well, you know... it's dry-er... like... less moist? And less... swollen? I can't really say much more, I'm in an elevator."
--Chicago, Washington & Wacker
Eavesdropper: RobD

Twentysomething guy: "Do you want to go see the new Wall Street movie?"
Other twentysomething guy: "No, it's got Shia LeBoeuf."
Twentysomething guy: "Who's Shia LeBoeuf?"
Other twentysomething guy: "He's a dick."
--Chicago, Lakeview Athletic Club, Broadway & Belmont
Eavesdropper: Trashton

Twentysomething female whose husband is Jewish: "If you can't laugh at concentration camps, what CAN you laugh at?"
Eavesdropper: The Losse-Lipped Lithuanian

Thirtysomething woman at a bar: "I had to hold it like this because it was so massive."
--Chicago, Rocks, Schubert & Lakewood
Eavesdropper: Gregerson

Thirtysomething female who is not from the deep South in the 1950s: "Squeezing my boobs in this dress is like 2 pigs fighting in a gunny sack."
Eavesdropper: AlyK

Thirtysomething mother referring to her infant daughter: "She's got a bit of a camel toe going."
--Chicago, Lincoln Park, Webster & Stockton
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Sweat-suited Businessman: "I could be married in a matter of weeks."
Lawyer: "I don't even want to think about what your bachelor party will entail."
Sweat-suited Businessman: "I'm not having one. My whole life's a bachelor party. What do I need a bachelor party for?"
--Chicago, Benchmark, Wells & Burton
Eavesdropper: RobD

Thirtysomething male in middle of phone conversation: "That has to be the ugliest Jew I've ever seen on TV."
Eavesdropper: GMYH

As we do from time to time, here is something that's not technically eavesdropping, but it's worthy of inclusion:
--Somewhere in Ohio on I-75
Eavesdropper: Mounty

As always, thanks to everyone who contributed. And remember, whenever you overhear or oversee something hilarious, email it to for inclusion in the next Midwestern Eavesdropping.

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