Girl talking on cell phone waiting for train: "First of all, the only thing I remember was the catheter."
--Chicago, State and Grand
Sign hanging from balcony facing elevated mass transit system: "If you're paralyzed, you can't fuck - buckle up."
--Chicago, facing Brown/Purple Line tracks near Halsted when traveling north
Eavesdropper: Pissed Off
Thirtysomething female enters elevator talking on cell phone, eyes occupants, muffles voice: "Well, you know... it's dry-er... like... less moist? And less... swollen? I can't really say much more, I'm in an elevator."
--Chicago, Washington & Wacker
Twentysomething guy: "Do you want to go see the new Wall Street movie?"
Other twentysomething guy: "No, it's got Shia LeBoeuf."
Twentysomething guy: "Who's Shia LeBoeuf?"
Other twentysomething guy: "He's a dick."
--Chicago, Lakeview Athletic Club, Broadway & Belmont
Twentysomething female whose husband is Jewish: "If you can't laugh at concentration camps, what CAN you laugh at?"
Eavesdropper: The Losse-Lipped Lithuanian
Thirtysomething woman at a bar: "I had to hold it like this because it was so massive."
--Chicago, Rocks, Schubert & Lakewood
Thirtysomething female who is not from the deep South in the 1950s: "Squeezing my boobs in this dress is like 2 pigs fighting in a gunny sack."
Thirtysomething mother referring to her infant daughter: "She's got a bit of a camel toe going."
--Chicago, Lincoln Park, Webster & Stockton
Sweat-suited Businessman: "I could be married in a matter of weeks."
Lawyer: "I don't even want to think about what your bachelor party will entail."
Sweat-suited Businessman: "I'm not having one. My whole life's a bachelor party. What do I need a bachelor party for?"
--Chicago, Benchmark, Wells & Burton
Thirtysomething male in middle of phone conversation: "That has to be the ugliest Jew I've ever seen on TV."
As we do from time to time, here is something that's not technically eavesdropping, but it's worthy of inclusion:
--Somewhere in Ohio on I-75
As always, thanks to everyone who contributed. And remember, whenever you overhear or oversee something hilarious, email it to firstname.lastname@example.org for inclusion in the next Midwestern Eavesdropping.