Anyway, so this past weekend was a haze of tomfoolery and bitter discontent. Halloween is my favorite holiday, so I make anyone with me dress up (As soon as she downloads them, Kate will be sending me some pictures from the weekend, which I will them post for everyone's enjoyment). The costumes in our group were as follows.
Jessie made a homemade bat costume that was pretty sweet (this picture really doesn't show the costume, but it does make Jessie look like an evil, guano slinging seductress). NaviKate was a doctor ("These are O.R. scrubs. O, R they?"). Tron was Sam Rothstein from "Casino" ("and here's your host of 'Ace's High,' Sam Rothstein"). Tron's friends, Mike "I Have an Unusually High Tolerance" Johnson and Joe "I Just Flew in From Chicago and Boy Are My Arms Tired" Vitale didn't dress up. Goni and I dusted off our naval whites for another run for the gold on Saturday night. As usual, we took hundreds of pictures with awestruck coeds. The customary cheers of "oh my God, you guys really look like them" echoed from every corner of every bar we visited. For this one night each year, we shed the ordinariness and mediocrity that plagues our mundane lives for the other 364. For this one night each year, we are kings. Kings, I tell you. And no, it never gets old.The weekend, however, was not without its share of disappointments. For every dizzying up, there was an equally heartbreaking down, and vice versa.
Up: I turned 28.
Down: I turned 28.
Up: We were the first ones in the lot we parked in for tailgating.
Down: We woke up at 6:30am after going to bed around 3:30 so that we could beat the nonexistent rush to the tailgating lot.
Down: IU got disemboweled on Saturday by the Spartans, 45-16. I was so pumped up when we got a safety to make it 7-2. I should have left at that point.
Up: Bears 19 Lions 13 in OT. Our seats were about 10 rows up on the goal line that Charles "Peanut" Tillman crossed for the winning score (these pictures shows the Bears celebrating after said touchdown). I only wish they had more than 3 remaining games against NFC North opponents.
Down: I missed the birthday-wishing calls of several of my friends and family members.
Up: My lone living grandparent (Grandma L) called me early Saturday evening to wish me a happy birthday. I was still half drunk from tailgating and in the middle of a postgame nap. My voice was hoarse. I was confused and disoriented. Hopefully it went well.
Up: After the IU/MSU game, we had some sweet burgers at a bar/restaurant called Crunchy's.
Down: We saw a fucking mouse scuttle out from behind a big screen
TV and die 10 feet from us on the floor at Crunchy's (photo to the right--it was dark in there, but you can see the mouse at the bottom of the picture).Down: We had 5 people in the car for both drives, and the drive back took forever because of some construction just north of the Michigan/Ohio border.
Up: On the drive back, along with 2 other cars, we prevented some ass from trying to jump a whole bunch of traffic when the lanes when down for construction. It was a solid box-in -- a real team effort. And we got to listen to a David Cross standup CD on the drive back. That dude is disturbingly hilarious. His rant about God sanctioning priest molestation may be one of the most wrong (yet funny) standup bits I've ever heard.
Up: Goni and I got into a bar called Landshark that was apparently the only bar in East Lansing that had a costume contest Saturday night. We waited in the VIP line for a half hour before getting to the front of the line and having the bouncer tell us that we were in the wrong line. We pled ignorance and then turned to bribery. Turns out college bouncers are pretty cheap. When I asked him if I could buy a VIP card, he said no (they only give those out to regulars). Then I said, "Well, I have $25 in my wallet. Will that get me in?" I was thinking that would just get me in, but he said that it would get both me and Goni in. So basically we just paid an extra $7.50 each to get into the bar for the contest. It looked like a simple investment that would reap its rewards in less than an hour.
Down: We never saw that extra $15 again. For the first time ever, Goni and I lost a costume contest. To make matters worse, we lost to -- get this -- Cap'n fucking Crunch. We were doomed from the beginning. He had home field advantage, and thus, his cheering section was larger (and more vociferous) than the one we brought. The MC clearly wanted Mav and Goose to take home the crown (even letting us sing "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling"), but alas, it was up to the crowd. We made it to the finals, but the Cap'n's crew was too large and too loud for us out-of-towners from Miramar to stand a chance. Like at flight school, there were no points for second place here. Only a $200 first place prize. Afterward, stunned and distraught, we talked to the Cap'n, and it turns out his mom made his costume. What a douche. At least Goni guilted him into buying us a sympathy shot with his newly won money. Every dynasty needs a gut check, and this was ours. Next year, we're going to a bigger market (Chicago, Cincy, Dayton, Indy), and we're taking a crowd with us. We will reign once again. So help me God, we will reign.
Up: Halloween allows for any and every girl with a tad of self-confidence to dress up like a slut. Saturday night at Landshark was no exception: slutty cats, slutty nurses, slutty flight attendants, slutty witches, slutty cops, slutty forest rangers, slutty parking attendants, slutty angels, slutty devils, slutty teachers, slutty school girls, slutty nuns, slutty school bus drivers, slutty Planned Parenthood workers, slutty pro-lifers, slutty cheerleaders, Tara Reid, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. It was off the hizzie. Apparently there was a slutty cop whose pants went down approximately one half-inch lower than her vagina.
Down: A night-long combination of Bud diesel, Jager bombs, and a smattering of other shots prevented me from remembering seeing any of them.
Down: The power on the jukebox at Landshark went out at some point after the contest, right in the middle of "Shout" (not sure if it was the Isley Brothers or Otis Day & The Knights version), during the "little bit softer now" part.
Up: I don't put up with that shit, so I kept it going. The first "a little bit louder now" was quiet, with only our little group keeping the song alive. The next "a little bit louder" gained more vocal chords. By the time the "hey ey, hey ey" call-and-response, we had at least half of the bar, and with the "hey yay yayee yay," we had everyone jumping around and joining us. Then I said "fuck it," left on a high note, and got a burrito.
Tonight, the Belangers (Jamie, Amy, AC) are having a bunch of us over to scare trick-or-treaters. Reason #715 why Ohio sucks: They call Halloween "Beggar's Night," and trick-or-treating is not always on Halloween night, with each community choosing which night to allow trick-or-treating. Reason #716 why Ohio sucks: This year's Beggar's Night trick-or-treating is allowed only from 5:30-7:30 tonight. What irrationally scared idiot parents convinced local authorities to make this decision? "I heard that Satan kills kids after 7:30. After all, this is a pagan, devil-worshipping holiday." Man, I used to trick-or-treat basically from after school until like 9 or 9:30. No parents, no supervision, no curfews, no worries. Just a shit ton of candy. In a show of my rebellious angst, I plan to make at least one trick-or-treater cry and/or piss himself tonight. That'll teach these fucking Puritans who's boss.
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