Midwestern Eavesdropping - 5/18/06

Thanks to everyone who contributed too what will hopefully become a totally killer weekly post. And to you non-Chicagoans, let's get some submissions already, eh?

Pasty white twentysomething girlfriend: Jimmy bought a really nice watch on Ebay for a couple thousand bucks.
Possibly blacktino wanksta boyfriend with an elongated head: I got a Movado.
Girlfriend: Really? You should wear it this Friday. What color is it?
Boyfriend: Green.
Girlfriend: Oh. Nevermind.
--Chicago, crowded Brown line train at rush hour
Eavesdropper: GMYH (I didn't know Movado made a green watch)

Twentysomething girl on cell phone: Yeah, I was listening to that song I like. It's on my iPod. I can't think of the title. It was by that one guy -- oh, what's his name? -- Bob Marley. Yeah, but it's not like his son. It's like the real Bob Marley.
--Chicago, crowded Brown line train at rush hour
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Hipster guy holding a pizza box: How the hell did she do 21 shots of Apple Pucker?
Girl: They were free.
--Chicago, Diversey & Kenmore
Eavesdropper: GMYH

A middle-aged blind man and a twentysomething white male discuss Des Moines:
Young guy: Train service in Des Moines is terrible.
Blind man: There are no trains in Des Moines.
--Chicago, Brown line train
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Early 30s mildly effeminate grad student: It's been tough for me to find anyone to date. I'm a writer, and everybody seems to like writers. Most people I talk to seem to like writers. But nobody seems to like me.
Nerdy undergrad: Man that's too bad. My best friend told me I should date a curator.
--Chicago, Purple line train
Eavesdropper: The Red Cobra

While this technically isn't eavesdropping, it's still pretty funny. Pearl Jam singer Eddie Vedder sang the 7th inning stretch at Wrigley last Sunday, and then was interviewed by Cubs' play-by-play announcer Len Kasper:
Kasper: So your new album is self-titled?
Vedder: Yeah, that's right, we titled it ourselves.
--Chicago, Wrigley Field, WGN booth
Eavesdropper: anyone who tuned in to watch the Cubs get murdered by the Padres

This conversation, between two male hippies in their early 20s, was overheard by people one row in front of them at Tuesday's Pearl Jam concert at United Center, sitting in the lower bowl in back of the floor:
Guy 1: Duuude, I am totally going to sneak up to the front row.
Guy 2: Duuuuuuuude, there's no way you're gonna be able to sneak that far up.
Guy 1: Duuuuuude, I totally snuck up to the front row for all the Phish shows, so dude don't worry about it, I'm gonna totally go.
Guy 2: Duuudde, this is PEARL JAM, not PHISH, dude, there's no way you're going to make it up there. This is PEARL JAM dude.
Guy 1: Well, dude, all I know is that Phish and Pearl Jam are my two favorite bands and I gotta see them both in the front row dude.
(After this conversation, the guys got kicked out of the seats behind the eavesdropper, which weren't theirs to begin with.)
--Chicago, United Center, Pearl Jam concert
Eavesdropper: Big Ears

Remember, if you're in the Midwest and you overhear something that's funny out of context (or in context) and you feel like sharing it with the world, email it to GMYH at gmyhblog@yahoo.com and it will make its way onto the weekly Midwestern Eavesdropping post.