Good work this week:
Twentysomething drunk female special ed teacher after discussion of girl in her high school who got alcohol poisoning from "shoving a tampon soaked in vodka up her chotty": "I have shoved things up my chotty on truth or dare."
--Chicago, Justin's Bar, Southport & Roscoe
Clueless Female Texan: "Wait a minute—are you just eating sugar?"
Twentysomething male: "No, I haven't been adopting your habits."
Clueless Female Texan: "That’s not fair. I eat salt."
--Bloomington , IN, law journal office, 3rd & Indiana
While watching the Miami University-Oregon game and sitting at the bar, a beautiful waitress and twentysomething male discuss the NCAA tourney:
Waitress: "So, who do you think is going all the way?"
Drunk male: "I think you and I are going all the way."
--Chicago, McGee's, Sheffield & Webster
Eavesdroppers: Gregerson, Slutzow
Late teens/early 20s girl, discussing her friend who just puked in the bathroom at a restaurant after lunch: "Bulimia's a bitch, but it's totally worth it."
--Peoria, Bar Louie
Traffic on Dunn crossing 3rd Street:
Guy in car: "I eat shit for a dollar!"
--Bloomington, IN, 3rd & Dunn
Here's another one that's not really eavesdropping, but still worthy of inclusion:
Bumper sticker on a Buick, license plate 1NORA:
"If you're going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair."
--Dayton, OH, Wayne Ave.
Thanks to everyone who contributed. Keep up the good work. And dammit, when you overhear or oversee something hilarious or disturbing, email it to firstname.lastname@example.org, and I will sure as shit include in the next installment of Midwestern Eavesdropping.