Thursday, April 12, 2007

Everything Alright In There?

Midwestern Eavesdropping will be back next week after you jerks overhear some funny things and send them to

Trivia Repeat
The Well-Coifed Women of High Moral Standards (comprised of me, Christoff, Gregerson, and Gregerson's friends Nick, Andy, and Dan) accomplished something rivaling what Florida did this year. We won Rocks Trivia for the second week in a row, and, like the Gators, it was a true team effort. With 7 members, we had to rotate one out each round, so as not to be disqualified for having too many players.

Stormy Weather, Baby
Victory could not be savored too long, as yesterday morning I woke up to a thin layer of wet snow on the ground. It was miserable in the morning. The snow was coming down in giant globs, feeling more like rain. To top it off, there was a horribly inappropriate stiff wind smacking me in the face, reminding me that I'm a sinner.

More Bathroom Hijinx
Yesterday morning I went into the bathroom. My coveted third stall was taken, so I had to settle for the first stall. Normally when someone else is in the bathroom I hear some jostling, toilet paper pulling, and uncomfortably loud panting. At the very least I hear some breathing or movement. But I wasn't hearing anything. Nothing at all, even after several minutes. I had convinced myself that this guy died in glorious fashion -- a true man's death indeed. As I sat there trying unsuccessfully to hear any sort of noise, I became more and more convinced. Now obviously I wasn't about to test my theory, but I was frightened that I would encounter the same thing on my next trip to the bathroom, at which time I would have to alert the building that there was a man who died during defecation in the third stall, forever tainting my once happy bathroom home. While I was working this out in my mind, his walkie-talkie cut through the silence like Jack the Ripper through a Whitechapel hooker (too soon?), asking him where he was. "Sleeping on the shitter" was not his answer. Needless to say, I'm relieved. Lord knows I don't want to be known around the office as The Guy Who Discovers Dead People in the Bathroom. It would surely taint my current image as The Guy With the Totally Awesome Three-Disc Changer Who Bangs Like Eighty Chicks Every Day and Does Not Discover Dead People in the Bathroom.

Work, IU, and the Like
As if my day couldn't get any better, I got some rush assignment yesterday afternoon, which was due this morning. Slowly I'm transforming into The Guy Who Everyone Gives Rush Assignments To Because He's Too New To Turn Them Down. What was particularly timely about this assignment was that several months ago -- out of the goodness of my heart and devotion to my alma maters -- I agreed to be an alumni volunteer for IU for the LT college fair, which of course was last night. So I worked until 6, trucked it over to Union Station, did as much work as I could on the train, trucked it to the North Campus Fieldhouse, for two hours helped convince a seemingly endless number of LT juniors (mostly hot chicks, er, I mean pretty girls, er, I mean males and females between the ages 16 and 17) to apply to IU by answering such questions as "What's like the most popular major?" (folklore, asshole, keep walking to Iowa State), "What do most people major in at IU?" (binge drinking), "What's your strongest program?" (this is always a funny one because the answer is music, and anyone who doesn't know that probably isn't interested in, or talented enough to get into, the music school), and, of course, "Is your business school any good?" (yes, although COAS RULES), then trucked it back to the Stone Avenue stop, read some of The Dirt on the Metra, trucked it to the Quincy L stop, read some more of The Dirt on the L, trucked it home, and worked until about 1 in the morning.

Lolla Lineup
The lineup for Lollapalooza has been announced. It looks pretty good. Among others, here are the groups slated to be there: Pearl Jam, Daft Punk, Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals, Muse, Iggy & The Stooges, Modest Mouse, Interpol, My Morning Jacket, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Snow Patrol, The Roots, Pete Yorn, Patti Smith, Kings of Leon, The Black Keys, The Hold Steady, and a ton more. As usual, it looks like it's going to be a pretty good show, although I'm not sure why Daft Punk is getting second billing. Tickets are now $195 for the 3-day fest. Deal with it.

The OC is Back, Kind Of
Like a heroin junkie chasing the dragon, I have been looking for something to fill the void since The OC was so callously taken from me. All other teen dramas are akin to methadone as far as I'm concerned. Kudos to cable network SOAP for fixing me with a Nikki Sixx-sized hit of the good stuff by showing The OC reruns every weekday at 5pm Central (that's 6pm Eastern, 1pm for the Aleuts, and 7:30pm for those of you in Newfoundland, although I'm not convinced there are TVs in Newfoundland, nor the internet to read this increasingly superfluous parenthetical). Of course now I have to find an excuse to leave work every day at 4:30, but I can always lie and say that I'm meeting my dealer, going to the strip club, having an affair, going to my other job, taking voice lessons, going to the clinic "because my fuckin' dick just won't stop itching," or a combination of all of the above.

Here are a couple good videos:
1. A Blue Jays commercial featuring Frank Thomas that got pulled because Canadians are weak. Thanks to Christoff for the link.
2. A foreign slam dunk contestant picks a girl out of the crowd to dunk over, or at least that was the plan. Thanks to Gregerson for the link.
3. Jimmy Kimmel verbally depantses the girl who runs Gawker on Larry King Live. Thanks again to Christoff.

First Three Albums of the Day - Wednesday
-Van Morrison - Astral Weeks-Howlin' Wolf - How Many More Years (I couldn't find a picture of the album, so I just put a nice picture of Chester Burnett himself up here)-Kings of Leon - Because Of The Times
First Three Albums of the Day - Thursday
-Cream - Disraeli Gears-Wolfmother - Wolfmother-The Impressions - The Greatest Hits (By the way, if you haven't yet discovered The Impressions -- the Curtis Mayfield version, not the Jerry Butler version, although that ain't bad either ("For Your Precious Love" is an all-time great from the Jerry Butler years) -- and you like '60s soul, then I highly recommend this CD. There's not a bad song on it. They are Rock and Roll Hall of Famers, after all.)


Anonymous said...

Just because Chandler is an avid hockey fan doesn't mean it's ok to leave him off the championship roster.

Chandler Hall said...

Yeah, thanks asshole. I'm kinda feeling like Pete Best over here.

GMYH said...

Apologies to Chandler for leaving him off the Well-Coifed Women of High Moral Standards roster. He was an integral part of the team, and without his Ivy League smarts and hockey know-how, we never would have won. Chandler, you should not feel like Pete Best -- more like a Stu Sutcliffe.