Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Purdue Stinks

Happy New Years, you Gregorian bastards. A delightful recap of the past couple weeks will be on its way at some point over the next few days. In the meantime, remember back when you were in college and sometimes when funds were low you would donate plasma, participate in psych experiments, or sell your body? Well the geniuses at Purdue -- a school statistically proven to be less likeable than tornados, Paris Hilton’s rotting vagina, and genocide, combined -- do something fittingly different. Big thanks go out to Ari for sending me the link to this article, entitled, “Purdue students sniff manure for science.” Despite what you might think, the article is NOT found in The Onion, but actually at MSNBC. Guys, every now something comes along that restores my faith in humanity. Like when I read articles about grad students at the college I hate more than anything else in the world who CHOOSE to smell shit from various animals. As if the thought of ugly grad students traipsing across the barren, desolate West Lafayette terrain, shoving fresh hog excrement in their faces for $30 wasn’t enough, one of the grad students interviewed had this to say: "Grad students are kind of poor. I've done worse than this.” What?! Worse? Seriously? What could be worse than smelling cow pies for $30? Eating cow pies for $30? Having sex with cow pies for $30? Getting raped by a cow for $30? Getting injected with mad cow disease while simultaneously eating and having sex with a cow pie while getting raped repeatedly by a cow that sings “PopoZao” for $30? Going to Purdue and paying money to do so?

No comments: