Monday, September 29, 2008

I'll Take a Pint of Banana Tit

PETA. Jesus Christ. These people are fucking morons. In case you haven't heard, the geniuses who brought you paint on fur and various other acts of eco-terrorism have outdone themselves. They have sent a letter to the owners of Ben & Jerry's urging them to switch from cow milk to -- wait for it -- human milk. That's right, they want to make ice cream from your wives' and sisters' and mothers' breast milk. Because cows are somehow hurt by being milked?

Maybe, instead of chicken, KFC should switch to the fresh, lean corpses of anorexics, or maybe foie gras should be made from the harvested livers of unsuspecting, drugged tourists, or maybe Italian restaurants can start making veal marsala from dead babies, since that makes about as much sense as my Cherry Garcia being made from the pirated milk of some strung-out post-partum mother-turned-milk-whore. And what about the repercussions? Human children going malnourished as their moms hoard milk. Women getting pregnant just so they can make a little breast milk donor money. Breast milk farms popping up all over Vermont. Hundreds of thousands of formerly useful female cows with no place to go but the killing floor and, subsequently, my belly. Very short sighted, PETA.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

PETA dissing? I thought you were a good liberal.

GMYH said...

Not all liberals like animals better than people. I may not support spraying hairspray in monkeys' eyes, but I sure as shit like veal. And cock fighting.

Anonymous said...

If spraying hairspray - nay, anything - in monkey's eyes is wrong...well, then dammit, I don't want to be right.

Anonymous said...

one time i had a guy on my show that was into monkey torture. he said the best way to do it, was to, quote, "get a monkey... and torture the hell out of it." i think they still have that episode on youtube.

Anonymous said...

Andrew,
Do you ever come to Roscoe's? We could have a good time ;) if you know what I mean!

Anonymous said...

Why is gregerson such a tool?