Thursday, January 08, 2009

Midwestern Eavesdropping - 1/8/09

Middle-aged, non-homeless man to approximately ten people in line at currency exchange: "Anyone got any mustard in their pocket?"
--Chicago, Franklin & Wells
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Drunk DePaul girl (noticing wedding ring): "You're married?"
Married guy: "Yeah."
DePaul girl: "So, do you live with your wife?"
Married guy: "Yeah, we even share the same bed. It's kind of serious."
--Chicago, McGee's, Sheffield & Webster
Eavesdroppers: RDC and Creature

Sober mother-in-law at the holidays: "Can I pause it, I don't have my strap on."
--somewhere in Illinois
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Twentysomething guy wearing Hurley hat approaches two guys in bar: "Can I ask you guys a weird question?"
Two guys, hesitently: "Yeah."
Hurley hat: "Either of you guys have a condom I can buy off you?"
--Chicago, Rocks, 1301 W. Schubert
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Special ed teacher: "Wait, you don't have to dribble in the special olympics? That's BULLSHIT! Just their legs are paralyzed, not their arms. (pause) That's not even real basketball."
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Drunk twentysomething male after trip to the bathroom: "I tired to go to the bathroom and I ripped the drywall out of the wall."
--Chicago, The Map Room, Armitage & Hoyne
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Overly disgusted twentysomething female in grocery store on January 2: "Valentine's Day candy out already?! What an atrocity."
--Chicago, Dominick's, Sheffield & Fullerton
Eavesdropper: GMYH

As always, thanks to those who contributed, and if you overhear something funny, email it to to be included in the next Midwestern Eavesdropping.

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