More Drew

Media darling Drew Peterson is up to it again, this time discussing his new engagement on Nightline, which will air tonight on ABC. Here's a snippet: "I'm good to her and I treat her better than she's ever been treated. . . . But I will acknowledge that I would have concerns if I was the friends and family of this young girl." I think whoever wrote the article forgot to include the bracketed subtext of his quote. Here's how it should have read:

"I'm good to her [for now] and I [have made a calculating and deliberate effort to] treat her better than she's ever been treated [by a man who plans to murder her]. . . . But I will acknowledge that I would have [serious, entirely legitimate] concerns if I was the friends and family of this young girl [because, rest assured, she will not -- I repeat, she will NOT -- survive her first year of marriage. One day, she will wake up in the middle of a forest preserve, drugged, naked, and bound, and I will be standing over her holding a hatchet, wearing nothing but steel-toed boots, a Speedo, Ultimate Warrior face paint, and a smile. I will cut the ropes from her feet and say, 'You will have a two-minute head start. In three directions, there is nothing but forest for miles. In the other direction, there is a road less than a mile away. Kathleen, well, she chose incorrectly. Stacy almost made it to the road. When you see them, do tell them I said hello. Tick tock tick tock.' And then I will hunt her like an animal, eat most, if not all, of her flesh, burn the remainder of her corpse into ash, spread it sparsely throughout Will County, and do it all again in another two years. Yeeeee-hhaaaaaaa!!!]"