Midwestern Eavesdropping - 2/10/10

Old partner to paralegal during conversation unrelated to dogs: "You can't take my son's dog for a walk because it was killed this weekend."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Mid-40s super tall gentleman in a grocery store: "I am seriously so depressed. What's the point of living if you can't enjoy a cigarette? I'm ready to divorce that bitch for making me quit."
--Chicago, Treasure Island, North & Wells
Eavesdropper: Bob Terwilliger

Twentysomething female with two masters degrees: "So the Google directions say it takes 4 hours and 50 minutes to get to Cincy. It's really 5 hours and 50 minutes due to the time change, right?"
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Thirtysomething male: "Tell Haiti, shit happens when you party naked."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: Tron

Twentysomething female: "I paid my dues at the shit factory."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Fiftysomething secretary on the phone: "I'm sorry... gringo? What? ... Oh... Okay. So should I put 'Attention: Ringo' on the envelope, then?"
--Chicago, Washington & Wacker
Eavesdropper: RobD

Twentysomething dude on train: "After you see my back moustache, it's all downhill from there."
--Chicago, Brown Line train
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Two guys talk at Super Bowl party:
Guy #1: "So, you're teaching a bunch of retards?"
Guy #2, who is a special ed teacher: "No, mostly they're just a-holes."
--Plainfield, IL
Eavesdropper: GMYH

TV commercial: "The ribbon is 1000 feet."
Twentysomething female: "That's a mile, right?"
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Thirtysomething woman, as elevator doors slide shut: "Don't judge me for my beehive hair."
Twentysomething attorney: "Pardon?"
Thirtysomething woman: "I was demonstrating. My makeup artist teased the shit out of the crap."
--Chicago, Astor & Banks
Eavesdropper: RobD

Twentysomething female to baby: "You don't have to open your mouth so wide for a pacifier. Just let it hang in your mouth like it's a cigarette."
--Chicago
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Guy on Red Line to girl getting off train: "It was good to see you. I'll call you sometime."
Girl: "You too, although I got a new phone, so I don't know if you have my phone number anymore."
Guy (joking): "Well, maybe I won't call you then."
Girl: "But if you call me, I'll answer."
--Chicago, Red Line train
Eavesdropper: GMYH

And, as we do from time to time, here is a photo that isn't technically eavesdropping, but worth of inclusion:

--Reynoldsburg, OH, East Broad Street
Eavesdropper: NaviKate

Thanks to all who contributed. As usual, if you overhear anything funny, email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com for inclusion in the next exciting edition of Midwestern Eavesdropping.