Tuesday Top Ten: Winter Olympic Sports

As usual, I all but forgot about the Olympics until they started, and now I am, as usual, physically and emotionally (and sexually) addicted to them. With that in mind, here are my ten favorite winter Olympic sports:

10. Bobsled.
"Hey, let's build a covered sled and go down a frozen waterslide."
"Okay."

9. Freestyle skiing (moguls).
I am always amazed at how fast skiers are able to fly through moguls with pretty much only their legs moving, and then do some aerial tricks twice in the middle, as if going down a bunny hill.

8. Biathlon.
Only in Norway would it seem logical to invent a sport that combines cross country skiing and shooting rifles at targets the size of silver dollars.

7. Snowboard Cross.
This is a relatively new one, but it's a fun one to watch. Four snowboarders race each other through twists, turns, and jumps, often resulting in spills and broken dreams.

6. Short Track Speed Skating.
This is more entertainment on ice than the 1974-75 Philadelphia Flyers. I especially like the relays, when they slingshot the next racer.

5. Ski Jumping.
I want to go to there.

4. Speed Skating.
It's like track, but on ice. Having no ability to ice skate (but insanely deceptive footspeed), I can respect that.

3. Alpine skiing (downhill).
I don't dislike the other alpine skiing events (slalom, giant slalom, Super G, combined), but downhill is usually the one that results in the highest speeds, which I'm all about. Plus, it reminds me of what little skiing I have done, because I prefer to ski straight down the hill as fast as possible.

2. Skeleton/Luge.
I combine these because they're both awesome, and they're essentially the same, except that skeleton racers go head first lying on their stomachs instead of feet first lying on their backs, like lugers. You would think it would be the skeleton racers that would be the ones dying.

1. Curling.
One day, perhaps in 2014, Tradd, Ryan, and I will bring home curling gold for the U.S. Then we will release a surprisingly graphic rap album under the name Stone Throwaz.