Rocktober Album #1: The White Stripes – Elephant (2003)

The White Stripes have never ceased to amaze and fascinate me. Their story is something only rock and roll could birth. A Detroit upholsterer gets married and takes his wife's last name. They form a band with only the two of them. They get divorced. They keep the band together. They tell everyone they're brother and sister so the media doesn't focus on the fact that they're a divorced couple. They become one of the best bands of the last 15 years.


In 2003, the White Stripes released Elephant, their fourth studio album, and the second that anyone had heard. They expanded from predominantly garage rock to an all-out rock and roll sonic assault.


This is one of my favorite albums of the last decade, and, depending on what day of the week it is, it is my favorite White Stripes album. I have fond memories of this album, not only because it's completely awesome, but also because I got it right before I went to London after graduating law school, so it reminds me of a time before by soul was crushed on a daily basis.


I am always amazed that all that sound comes from only two people, and even more amazed that Elephant was recorded in two weeks and recorded and produced without any computers. There are countless bands that spend years and tons of money on technology trying to make an album this good. But it only takes two to tango.


1."Seven Nation Army"
With one guitar line (and yes, that's a guitar, not a bass) and that driving bass drum thump, the White Stripes made an anthem that is now played at sporting events across the world. You can go anywhere and start chanting "ohh oh-oh-oh-oh ohh ohhh," and people will join in. In addition to achieving universal recognition, this song transformed Jack White into a guitar god. Those solos scream, "Take notice, world. There's a new sheriff in town."


2."Black Math"
This might be my favorite song on the album, but it also might not be. That's for me to take to the grave. It's a ball-busting, fast-paced rocker that falls somewhere between The Ramones and Led Zeppelin. Then again, that may sum up the White Stripes in general.


3."There's No Home for You Here"
Allegedly, this was written about Queen Elizabeth (the one who's still alive, not that trick Cate Blanchett portrayed). The lyrics are interesting, regardless of the possible subject matter. It comes across as an epic break-up song. "There's no home for you here / Girl, go away."


4."I Just Don't Know What to Do with Myself"
What do you get when the White Stripes cover a Burt Bacharach-penned '60s pop hit for British chanteuse Dusty Springfield? A completely awesome song that draws you in with the verses and socks you in the face with the chorus. The White Stripes manage to make this song sound like a White Stripes song. It makes great use of the great musical tool of anticipation. By the time the chorus kicks in, you can barely take it. The song ends with an orgasmic explosion of guitars, crashing cymbals, and screaming that make you believe that Jack White really does not know what to do with himself.


5."In the Cold, Cold Night"
After "I Just Don't Know What to Do with Myself," you need that post-coital breather before Round Two, which is what "In the Cold, Cold Night" and the next two songs do. This is just acoustic guitar and an organ. Most notably, it is the first song where Meg White sings lead vocals.


6."I Want to Be the Boy to Warm Your Mother's Heart"
During the first several White Stripes album, Jack White seemed to have a real concern about pleasing mothers. This is a heartfelt piano ballad with a sneaky drumbeat, and a nice little slide guitar solo. I think every guy can relate to this, unless your girlfriend/fiancé/wife's mom is easily impressed. "What kind of cartwheels do I have to pull / What kind of jokes should I lay on her now? / I'm inclined to go finish high school / Just to make her notice that I'm around." Good stuff.


7."You've Got Her in Your Pocket"
This is another slower song, presumably about a giant.


8."Ball and Biscuit"
This song is seven minutes of pure, unadulterated, raunchy, blues rock. Meg provides her perfect fuck thump for Jack's crunchy, fuzzy guitar licks. (Yes, I just described her drumbeat as a "fuck thump.") With the opening line -- "It's quite possible that I'm your third man, girl / But it's a fact that I'm the seventh son" -- Jack White also claims his crown as the next great bluesman. The guitar solos are phenomenal. If they aren't meant to simulate sex, I don't know what is. You may recognize this from a recent Captain Morgan commercial, wherein that ribald buccaneer encourages what appear to be Spanish nobility to break dinnerware to make a servant not feel so bad about dropping a glass. Classic Morgan.


9."The Hardest Button to Button"
Meg's drumbeat drives this song. It's another great rock song. The lyrics are interesting. There are toy ray guns, reverse voodoo dolls, and intransigent buttons.


10."Little Acorns"
In a twist, this song starts out with an excerpt from a human interest story from Detroit newscaster Mort Crim about a perseverant squirrel who inspired some idiot not to commit suicide. Then, there are some guitars, drums, and vocals that pay homage to squirrels who keep on keepin' on.


11."Hypnotize"
This is a short but sweet garage punk rocker, with more self-deprecating lyrics. "You're the kind of girl a guy like me could hypnotize." It's quite possible he's talking about that chick who watches squirrels.


12."The Air Near My Fingers"
This one is a great rock song with some sneaky hooks. I don't know why this wasn't released as a single or why it didn't get any airplay.


13."Girl, You Have No Faith in Medicine"
Fucking Christian Scientists.


14."It's True That We Love One Another"
Just as they had done three years earlier with "Your Southern Can is Mine" on their second album, De Stijl, they chose to end Elephant with a tongue-in-cheek song. In addition to Jack and Meg, this song features British garage rocker Holly Golightly (of Thee Headcoatees). Jack isn't sure about starting a relationship with Holly. Holly asks Meg about Jack. Meg doesn't care. Jack indicates love bores him. Holly indicates she loves Jack like a little brother. Jack asks Holly for some English lovin'. Holly implies that she does not use birth control. In the end, they all love one another. Holly has some tea to celebrate.