Tuesday, September 20, 2005

AD, KC, MNF, and DBs

Kudos to Fox for bringing back Arrested Development, which premiered last night. I always had a feeling that when Richie Cunningham and the Fonz reunited, all they would need is a hot lesbian, the star of Teen Wolf Too, the Ropers' stuffy landlord from "The Ropers," and David Cross, and they would have TV gold.


I also watched the series premier of Kitchen Confidential, starring, among others, that dick weed Zack from Wedding Crashers, as well as John Cho (best known for his role as Harold in "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle" or the guy who says "MILF" in "American Pie," but he was also in "Off Centre," a pretty funny show that failed because it was on the WB and no one knew about it). It looks like Cho's character will be written out after a couple episodes, though. I guess Kitchen Confidential is directed by Fred Savage. I'm not sure if that's good or bad, but the show has the potential to turn everything you've ever thought about the kitchen in an upscale restaurant upside down. It will sufficiently fill the void between Arrested Development and Monday Night Football.

Speaking of which, the Eastern time zone sucks. Never do I feel the crunch as painfully as on Monday nights in the fall when Monday Night Football doesn't start until 9, which means that the game will almost always end after midnight. This sucks mainly because I have turned the TV off and gone to bed several times when one team is comfortably ahead (99% of the time, it's the team I picked to win in my NFL pick 'em league), only to learn the next morning of a monumental comeback. Last night was such an occasion. I went to bed when Dallas was up 13-0, thinking that I was about to win the week in the pick 'em league. Sure enough, I flip on SportsCenter as I sit down to what would normally be an enjoyable bowl of Cinnamon Life, only to find out that the Redskins came back to win 14-13. I threw up everywhere.

What's with Cleveland Indians fans being big bags of douche? I am a White Sox fan, but I'm not an in-your-face, storm-the-field-to-beat-up-an-opposing-coach White Sox fan. I don't talk too much smack. After all, when you're a Chicago baseball fan, you grow to realize that failure is inevitable. Cautious optimism is a way of life. Therefore, I don't talk shit. Not even when the Sox had a 15-game lead. All along, I've said that I'll believe the Sox are World-Series-worthy when they get to the World Series. It's not that I don't root hard for them every day. It's just that I know better. Cleveland fans, on the other hand, can't help but inhale cock when it comes to this kind of stuff. I guess I'd be pissed too if I was from a city where I lived in constant fear of the fucking river catching fire. Apparently hate mail is the Indians' fans' weapon of choice. First I get an email from Goni talking about how Ozzie Guillen is "an asshole" and how Goni knew all along that the Sox would collapse. Obviously. And now the Indians fans in my office are starting to come out of the woodwork. Some guy emails me (copying the few other Indians fans in the office) to say "Go Tribe" and talking about how the Indians are going to sweep the Sox. Then he comes to my office a couple hours later, but I was on the phone. So after I get off the phone, I buzz him (thinking he was stopping by for something work-related), and he says he was only stopping by to "razz" me about the Indians/Sox series. Until yesterday, this ass clown had never once given me any indication whatsoever that he was an Indians fan. And of course this morning, I get a "one down and two to go" email from another Indians fan in the office. So God, if you're reading this (and I can only assume you are, on account of the omnipotence), please punish these Indians fans for their foolhardiness by preventing the Indians from winning the AL Central.

Fantasy Update:
-Corn Hole'ers (Angry Pirates): 0-2 (T 6th)
-FIC You (Car Ramrod): 1-1 (T 3rd)
-Glenview Gridiron (Angry Pirates): 1-0 (T 1st)
-League of Extraordinary Gents (Angry Pirates): 1-1 (T 3rd)
-Pigskin 2005 Pick 'Em (Angry Pirates): 2nd overall (out of 16), 2nd for the week (damn Cowboys)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Please include as many "inhale cock" references or similarities as possible. Always a joy to read!