Less Than 24 Until 30 in 8

One of the greatest events of the year is tomorrow: 30 in 8. For those of you who don't know what 30 in 8 is, here you go: in 2001, 3 Iams employees (John "Don't Call Me Ashcroft" Ashcraft, Jamie "I'll Do Anyone Here, Except the Guys" Belanger, and Marc "Shit Happens, People Get Drunk" Wiescinski) were conversing with another Iams employee (Andy "Eyes Bigger Than His Tolerance" Taylor), who was a couple years old than they were. Much to the delight of a long-dead Charles Darwin, Andy proclaimed that he could drink 30 beers in 8 hours. John, Jamie, and Marc scoffed at this idiotic remark, to which Andy replied, "It's less than 4 beers an hour." The three laughed at Andy and told him to put his tolerance where his mouth was. And so it was born. On a subsequent Saturday, the four convened at someone's residence, along with a few other contestants and lookers-on. Each person was to bring their own 30 beers. Andy, much to the dismay of a long-dead Charles Darwin, showed up with a 6-pack of fire-brewed Stroh's. Every year since then, on a fall Saturday, the tradition continues as a celebration of beer, college football, and grilled meat.

The rules are simple. Beginning at noon, you try to drink 30 beers in 8 hours. You must bring your own beer, and you can choose any brand/type you want (except non-alcoholic). If you puke, you're disqualified (but still welcome to continue drinking). The leader wears the yellow jersey, and the winner keeps the jersey until the next 30 in 8. Women are allowed, but their shirts are not.

Upon first hearing about it, a surprising amount of guys say, "Oh, I could definitely do that. No problem." Except for the top 0.5% of drinkers, this type of thinking is nothing but unfounded hubris. The closest anyone has come is 26, and he was about 6'3", 220.

It has grown to about 15-20 people. The race is long and unforgiving. Friends and enemies are made along the way. Here are some highlights from years past:
2001: Steve "Don't Call Me Mae" West breaks his pinky while playing football. Matt Connor falls asleep in the middle of the competition.
2002: Chris "Whalin'" Thelen pummels the hood of his rental car with a broom. Matt Connor falls asleep in the middle of the competition.
2003: Tony "The Artist Formerly Known as T Diddy" Green drinks 12 beers in the first 2 hours, then passes out for the remaining 6 hours of the competition. Also, Scott "Old Man" George and Marc tie, resulting in a shot-off: 5 shots of Jager in 5 minutes. Both do it, but Marc pukes first, so Scott gets the victory. Matt Connor falls asleep in the middle of the competition.
2004: Jon Locke breaks the 30 in 8 record, winning the competition with 26, holding off a literally blinding rally by yours truly. Matt Connor falls asleep in the middle of the competition.

For reasons unknown to me, Jessie agreed to let me host it on her birthday weekend, so she's off to Chicago for the weekend. Mentally, I'm ready. Liverly, I'm somewhat ready. I will try my best to give you increasingly less coherent updates throughout the day tomorrow.

Kudos to "NaviKate" Rohrer for using her sweet skills in magic and graphic design to come up with this: