Sweet Jesus, I never thought it would come to this. I moved two states away. After moving I switched law firms. Hell, I even shaved my fingerprints off with a file. Today I learned it wasn't enough.
At approximately 2:04pm, I made my way to the fairly large little boys room, securing a spot in the third stall (of four). Several minutes later a man – or so I assume – entered the lavatory. Following the Rules of Bathroom Etiquette ("RBE"), he chose the first stall, so as provide a one stall buffer between us. This would be the last RBE he would follow.
As he huffed and puffed (in joy or agony, it is not known), I thought to myself, "Man, this guy must be giving birth to a baby hippo." My hilarious image was soon dashed, as the man quickly wiped, exited the stall, continued to huff and puff (possibly even more), briefly turned on the water at the sink, and got the hell out of the bathroom. His total time from entering the bathroom to exiting the bathroom was less than 90 seconds. That's right, my friends, there is a fecal phantom on my floor.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
3 comments:
Maybe it was Lance Stemler.
He was also a phantom basketball player last night in Champaign.
well, now, what would you have them do? stay awhile?
sheesh.
I don't trust those whose door-to-door shitting experience happens in less than two minutes. It's unhealthy and unclean, especially since their wiping is usually swift and (I assume) haphazard and they don't wash their hands with soap (if at all).
Lance, please refind your shooting form.
Post a Comment