Fives

Jaleh tagged me, then Beth added a whole bunch of other categories that I thought were pretty neat. I decided to add a couple of my own, as well.

Five Things You Don't Know About Me:
1. When I was a very young child I wanted to be a night watchman when I grew up.
2. I’ve never seen an episode of The OC.
3. I met Phil Collins once. He watched me watch another man drown. It was the first time and the last time we ever met.
4. I am the last surviving castrato. If you don’t believe me, just ask me to sing.
5. There is not a little bit of truth in every one of my jokes.

FIVE JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE:
1. Camp Counselor
2. Janitor
3. Secretary
4. Attorney
5. Is “john” a job?

FIVE MOVIES I HAVE WATCHED OVER AND OVER:
1. Big Lebowski
2. Dazed and Confused
3. Mallrats
4. Sleepaway Camp 3: Teenage Wasteland
5. Space Nuts

FIVE PLACES I HAVE LIVED:
1. Minneapolis, MN
2. Spring, TX
3. Illinois (LaGrange, Mt. Vernon, Chicago)
4. Bloomington, IN
5. Ohio (Kettering, Dayton)

FIVE TV SHOWS I LIKE TO WATCH (that are currently on TV):
1. The Office
2. 30 Rock
3. The OC (while it’s still on – I hate all of you who didn’t tune in for the past two seasons)
4. The Simpsons
5. Family Guy

FIVE PLACES I HAVE BEEN ON VACATION:
1. Hong Kong
2. Morocco (Marrakech is beautiful in March, as is Rabat)
3. Costa Rica
4. Argentina
5. Canton, OH

FIVE OF MY FAVORITE FOODS:
1. Pizza with pepperoni and green olives
2. My dead grandma’s gnocchi, which I will never have again. Thanks God. Infinite wisdom my ass.
3. Hard-boiled eggs
4. Crab legs
5. Lasagna

FIVE PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1. Dissolving in a bathtub in Hell’s Kitchen
2. Sunset Strip, 1986
3. 1720 N. Jordan Ave., Bloomington, Indiana, between the years 1996 and 2000
4. London (England, not Ontario or Kentucky)
5. Any bar, anywhere, ever (except Nazi Germany or West Lafayette, Indiana)

FIVE DEAD CHICKS I WOULD TOTALLY DO (IF THEY WERE STILL ALIVE):
1. Dana Plato
2. Marissa Cooper
3. Krissy Taylor
4. River Phoenix
5. Sylvia Plath

FIVE PEOPLE I WISH HAD GENITAL WARTS (IF THEY DON’T ALREADY):
1. Paris Hilton (preferably the kind of warts that make you fat and humble)
2. Pat Robertson (assuming he’s not too busy leg pressing 2,000 pounds)
3. Christoff
4. That dude from the Mac commercials
5. That other dude from the Mac commercials

FIVE SONGS I LISTENED TO TODAY THAT I DON’T THINK ANYONE ELSE LISTENED TO:
1. “Bang” by Gorky Park
2. “Kiss Me Deadly” by Lita Ford
3. “Alone Again” by Dokken
4. “Ballad of Jayne” by LA Guns
5. “Big Guns” by Skid Row

ONE BEST PICTURE FROM NEW YEARS EVE THAT I AM IN:
I am tagging Haas because I’d like to know what dead chicks he would do, Wee Wee because he hasn’t updated his blog in over a year, and Goni because he owns and operates the worst blog of all-time.