Monday, January 29, 2007

Not By The Bruise on Her Chinny Chin Chin

Sadly Jester is withholding the publishing rights to much of what happened this weekend. However, she is allowing me to recount a brief encounter she had with an intransigent dumpster. A mixture of snow, ice, and sambuca black had given Jessie a false sense of immortality. But the wily dumpster countered with a left wheel straight to Jessie's chin. Here is said chin yesterday:

Meanwhile, the bruise seems to be hitting its stride today:

The best part of what I am now deeming "The Chincident" is that rumors of spousal abuse are no doubt spreading like laminitis through Barbaro (too soon?).

In other news, semi-famous '80s rocker and Indianapolis resident Henry Lee Summer plead guilty today to drunk driving charges stemming from a September incident in which Summer -- who may or may not have been singing his non-hit "I Wish I Had a Girl" -- drove his SUV "into cars, trucks and at least one mobile home. A Marion County Sheriff's deputy used a Taser shock device to subdue him." That must have been quite a scene Thanks to AC Judson for the link and for making sure to mention that Summer's attorney is AC's mom's best friend.

In other news, an ACNielsen survey showed that 13% of Americans have never heard of global warming. Am I crazy on this one, but haven't we been hearing about global warming for the past 20+ years? So more than one out of every ten people have "never heard or read anything about global warming." I don't find this pathetic from some sort of political standpoint. I find this pathetic from a simple knowledge standpoint. Did ACNielsen only poll toddlers and people with alzheimer's or Down Syndrome? Then again 13% probably accounts for Mississippi, Alabama, Arkansas, and most non-urban areas of Tennessee, Kentucky, and Georgia, so I guess it makes sense. But don't those people hate Al Gore enough to know what he stands for? It just doesn't make any sense, people.

5 comments:

lynnie said...

ouch!!!! poor jessie! hope you feel better BFF!!!!

Anonymous said...

Andrew,

Don't you know that the hard line republicans that you mentioned don't need to know what a democrat stands for potlitically. They probably don't even know what the republican candidates they vote for stand for. At that level it isn't about the platform it is simply about red and blue. In this case Red=Good Blue=Bad and they don't know why.

Anonymous said...

they don't need to know because no democrat stands for anything in the first place, aside from government hand-outs and covering up the fact that osama was planning 9/11 while clinton was begging monica for a rimjob.

you're probably right, though. anyone who votes republican is just plain dumb.

Anonymous said...

Maybe these people haven't heard of global warming due to the fact you can't read about something after it's been ordered deleted?

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/01/30/congress.climate.ap/index.html

GMYH said...

Here is the link to the article Anonymous #3 attempted to post.

Anonymous #2, your logic is flawed. The fact that "no democrat stands for anything in the first place" bears no logical relationship to whether the bottom 13% of Americans should know of the simple existence of something called global warming. Furthermore, I think we all know that Slick Willie did not beg for anything sexual from any woman ever. That man could not walk five feet before falling into a pile of willing pussy.