I Love Your Gypsy Eyes

Can't a guy eat a sandwich on the beach next to some corpses without getting any guff anymore?So I guess a couple gypsy girls drowned on the Italian coast, and everyone's in a tizzy because the people on the beach went about their sunbathing and lunching while the bodies of the two girls lie nearby, before authorities had the decency to remove the bodies from the beach. To be honest, I don't see what the big deal is. I am a little biased on this issue because I prefer to sun bathe on corpse-free beaches. More importantly, my grandma hated gypsies. For those of you who never had the pleasure of meeting my grandma, we're talking about the sweetest woman in the history of the world. She embraced everyone (figuratively and literally) and could have cared less about your race or religion or socioeconomic status. She hated no one. Except gypsies. Because they steal children and goats from hard-working Calabrese families. No wonder she caught a boat to the New World back in '27. I'm just glad for her sake that the beaches of Lake Erie were not polluted -- well, at least not with the lifeless, emaciated bodies of godless rapscallions who haven't mastered the doggy paddle.