Subpoenaed in Texas, Sequestered in Memphis

I've been ignoring you lately, haven't I? Many apologies. I have been terribly busy with work, play, my latest Second City class, swinging, winning the UK lottery (several times over, according to the emails), and visiting the doctor for my most recent bout with Chlamydia. I also got a Wii Fit a couple months ago, so I'm pretty flexible.

I have nothing exciting to report to you. Penicillin seems to work really well. Essentially, it prevents me from learning from my mistakes. I've also purchased some music over the past three months that I think you should know about. It's called rock and roll, and I really thinks it's gonna stick.

As a preliminary note, if you think these reviews are worthless or that no one pays attention, perhaps you should check out the "News" section of Township's website. Scroll down a little. Hell yeah!

As a reminder, here is the GMYH CD Review Scale:
-6 Handrews - Buy it now. NOW!!
-5 Handrews - Excellent album that you should seriously consider purchasing in the near future
-4 Handrews - Very good album that you should at least check out on iTunes
-3 Handrews - If you want it, download it illegally
-2 Handrews - Somewhere between Britney Spears and William Hung
-1 Handrew - Ashlee Simpson
-0 Handrews - PopoZao

-Badfinger - The Very Best of Badfinger (4 Handrews) - An oft-overlooked stalwart of the early '70s, but these guys have some great songs. Favorite songs: "Without You," "Baby Blue"
-Be Your Own Pet - Get Awkward (4.75 Handrews) - They're growing up so fast, and continuing to kick ass with their hooky punk. Favorite songs: "The Kelly Affair," "Heart Throb"
-David Bowie - Aladdin Sane (4 Handrews) - In my opinion, it's better than Hunky Dory, but not as good as The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust (but what is?). Favorite songs: "Panic in Detroit," "The Jean Genie"
-Foxboro Hot Tubs - Stop Drop and Roll!!! (4.5 Handrews) - Green Day's '60s-style garage rocking alter-ego. Is it bad that I like this better than a lot of their regular stuff? Favorite songs: "Mother Mary," "The Pedestrian"
-The Fratellis - Here We Stand (4 Handrews) - Somewhat of a disappointment. Their first album, Costello Music, had more hooks than a tackle box. This doesn't have as many hooks, although it is still pretty good. Favorite songs: "Shameless," "Lupe Brown"
-Gnarls Barkley - The Odd Couple (4.5 Handrews) - Catchy as hell. Dare I say, it's fun to listen to. Favorite songs: "Going On," "Blind Mary"
-The Hold Steady - Stay Positive (5 Handrews) - Just got this yesterday, so I've only listened to it a couple times. It picks up where Boys and Girls in America left off. Good stuff. Plus it made the Captivate list of new albums. If they show it in an elevator, it must be important. Favorite songs: "Constructive Summer," "Magazines"
-Man Raze - Surreal (4 Handrews) - What do you get when you combine Def Leppard's Phil Collen, Sex Pistols's Paul Cook, and Girl's Simon Laffy? A great combination of punk, Police-y pop, and straight-up rock. Favorite songs: "Turn It Up," "This Is"
-Motley Crue - Shout at the Devil (4 Handrews) - A pretty damn good sophomore album. Favorite songs: "Looks That Kill," "Bastard"
-Motley Crue - Girls Girls Girls (4 Handrews) - A much-needed return to glory and debauchery after the disappointing Theatre of Pain album. Favorite songs: "Wild Side," "Dancing on Glass"
-The Raconteurs - Consolers of the Lonely (5.5 Handrews) - I love this album, probably because it's more rocking and more White Stripes-y than their first album. Favorite songs: "Salute Your Solution," "Carolina Drama," "Attention"
-Thin Lizzy - Night Life (3 Handrews) - A bit more mellow, and, therefore, less satisfying than their other albums I own. Favorite songs: "Philomena," "Sha-La-La"
-Weezer - Weezer (the Red Album) (4 Handrews) - This harkens back to their earlier stuff, which I like. Rivers Cuomo can write a pop song. Favorite songs: "Pork and Beans," "Dreamin'"

Also, I put as many of the "favorite songs" from each album as I could into a Mixwit mix so that you can feel what I feel, minus the constant shame. Doesn't the mix tape remind you of the Transformers Bumble Bee toy? The old-school one, not the tripe that Michael Bay passes off as Bumble Bee? If not, I suggest you change your reminiscence.