Midwestern Eavesdropping - 7/31/08

Thirtysomething male after going to a strip club: "I realized today I love strange pussy more than I love eating."
--somewhere in Iowa
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Twentysomething female at an upscale sushi restaurant: "Instead of soy sauce I drink egg whites."
--Chicago, Sushi Samba, Wells & Illinois
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Fortysomething woman to sixtysomething woman returning from funeral on Metra train: "She don't hold her babies in her womb as long as I do"
--Chicagoland area, somewhere on the Metra
Eavesdropper: Kazda

Twentysomething female "Do you think they are going to do anything special here for the 4th of July?"
Twentysomething male "Seeing as how we kicked their asses, I doubt it."
--London, England, on a bus
Eavesdropper: Spawn

Several co-workers, including a weird guy who hates kids, have a conversation:
Kid hater: "Hey [Half Japanese man], so you know how much I hate kids and kids hate me?"
Half Japanese man: "Uh, yeah."
Kid hater: "So I was at Wal-Mart buying some new Dickies and my size was on the bottom row, so I reached down and a kid spit in my face."
Twentysomething male (incredulously): "Whoa, whoa, whoa, you didn't say anything to the kid or the parents or anything?"
Kid hater: "No, they didn't speak English. I think they were first generation illegals."
--Irvine, CA, 17 Pasteur
Eavesdropper: Tail Pipe

Young 20s Lemon Smoothie vendor at ballpark: "Get your over-priced lemon smoothies!"
--Chicago, Wrigley Field, 1060 W. Addison
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Twentysomething female: "I don't use condoms, what am I . . .12?"
--Chicago, somewhere
Eavesdropper: The Loose-Lipped Lithuanian

Twentysomething bachelor to some women: "Well, he's my best man because he popped my wife's cherry."
--Chicago, somewhere
Eavesdropper: Gregerson

Preppy male talking to two trixies on residential sidewalk: "You were wasteder than I was."
--Chicago, Burling & Belden
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Person from work looking at a fellow co-worker's ultrasound: "Hey [Kid hater], have you seen this?"
Kid hater: "No and I don't want to. I hate kids. They weird me out. I've already gone under the knife so I don't have any."
--Irvine, CA, 17 Pasteur
Eavesdropper: Tail Pipe

Thirtysomething male after going to a strip club: "I could drink forever with boobies in my face."
--somewhere in Iowa
Eavesdropper: GMYH

Female cashier ringing up grocery purchase: "Wow...they have brown rice now?"
--Westchester, IL, Dominick's, Wolf & 31st
Eavesdropper: RDC

Twentysomething male to co-worker: "[Co-worker], are you hungry? Do you want to go grab lunch?"
Co-worker: "I'm pretty busy, so I can't go anywhere. I think I'll just head next door and get a bucket of slop."
--Irvine, CA, 17 Pasteur
Eavesdropper: Tail Pipe

Thanks to everyone who contributed. Sorry it took three weeks instead of the usual two. I had shit to do last Thursday. Anywho, the next time you overhear something hilarious, email it to gmyhblog@yahoo.com for inclusion in the next exciting installment of Midwestern Eavesdropping.